**CAMPUS LIFE** EPISODE 8 Where those bomboklat? I go kill person pikin today. Mr.macho was shouting. Philip was already soaking in his urine. Musa ran to lock the door but he was too late, mr.macho pushed the door so hard that musa was thrown inside like a baloon. Jah save the bomboklat that stole i-mans mama things. Which wan come be i-man na? I thought inwardly, first it was iphone, then ipad, ipod and now iman?? The fan was on its highest speed but philip was still sweating as if a full bucket of water had been emptied on his body. I said my prayers in an inaudible manner. So you babylonians eat mamas food, jah strike you down. Oga no be me o, na these boys wey.... Philip was trying to say something when a slap cut him short. The slap sounded like an atomic bomb, it sent an electromagnetic impulse to my brain. I felt his pain. Musa was still on the ground and mr.macho was coming towards me. My brain was on hyperthinking mode, processing data at 1000terabytes per second, i was on different search engines searching for ideas, you can call it multitasking. While google was telling me rubbish, wikipedia how to prevent burglars from entering your room, same as ask,info, yahoo, webcrawler. Only yabaleftonline gave me an idea but by then, mr.macho had already grabbed my neck, he was raising me from the ground. O....o....oga.....i.....i....i...no..no...well.... I...swe.... Swear. I managed to muster. I was already seeing myself in the afterworld, i was putting on white sitting at the right hand Side of God. I looked down and saw philcz, he was in hell begging me for water. Mr.macho increased his grip, that brought me back from heaven. My two lazy friends were still lying on the floor. Musa opened his eyes slowly. I shined my eyes to see my friends for the last time. Snake...Snake..snake... Musa shouted. That did the trick, philip miraculously woke up from the dead and ran for his life. Mr.macho who had already lifted me up to the ceiling left me and took to his heels. Musa was laughing his Bottom out, i wanted to join him in laughing then i remembered i was still on the air. My laugh was cut short when i landed hard on the ground. My Bottom felt numb, bad thing i didnt have philips kinda Bottom. Philips Bottom could break a coconut that was how strong his Bottom was. When ask the secret of his strong Bottom, he said it was vitamin Q gotten from the egg of an eagle. Since i couldnt get an eagles egg, my Bottom was as soft as vitafoam. Musa was still laughing when i noticed the bread and milk was still remaining. I quickly took the bread and helped myself to my nutritious meal. Bomboklat, wetin you dey do? Immediately i heard bomboklat, my liver failed me, i thought it was mr.macho. I wouldnt want to go back to heaven. It wasnt mr.macho, it was philip. Guy so you dey chop the bread leave us? Musa added. It was then i realised that it was still my friends. No, na that mechanic boy saliva been dey enter the thing naim i wan test am whether e still good. So na your mouth be tester? Musa asked. Guy bone am, make we just eat am like that musa advised. They went back to the food, i wanted to join them but musa slapped my hand off. Kai, see wetin greed the cause. I watched as they devoured the meal while i was salivating. Kpo kpo kpo, someone knocked at the door. Kelvin go see who dey there. Philip commanded. God punish you, na me good to beat ba? I asked thinking it was still mr.macho. Wont you guys open the door? A feminine voice asked. I opened the door and it was vivian standing outside. She walked pass me straight to philip, lets go for shopping, you need new cloths for the pageantry she said. Is this how boxed up vivian is? I started having a rethink about vivian. There is a saying that you never know what you have until you lose them. I had Vivian on a platter of gold, i was forming big boy, because i held cynthia close to my heart. Now it seems like Cynthia doesnt even care anymore. Since i came back from the hospital, she hasnt even called me. My princess was now an enirely new person. Philip had left the room to take his bath, vivian was busy chatting with musa like she didnt even notice i was in the room. I went outside and brought out my phone to make a call. I went out because i didnt want vivian to see my phone, i already told you guys the condition of my phone right? Good, cos i cant afford to remove my phone in public not to talk of removing it in front of the girl i had plans for. Even though my phone had helped me alot, i still lacked respect for the apparatus. You might be wondering why i called it apparatus, well thats the name philip always calls it. Several times i had been blocked by cult boys but all those times, nobody wanted to collect my phone. My phone was a special gift from my elder sister, she inherited it from my mum who had collected the phone from my dad. Am pretty sure it was even my grandpa that gave the phone to my dad. The phone had ancestral blessing, maybe thats why even mermaid rejected it. Sweetheart watsup i said, immediately Cynthia picked the phone. Am fine, how are you? She asked in her trademark caring tone. Am not fine i replied her changing my tone. Whats the problem kelvin, or Have you been beaten again? She asked jokingly and giggled. Cynthia am serious. I was trying to let her see the seriousness of what i wanted to tell her but she was busy laughing as if she had inhaled laughing gas. I didnt have enough airtime in my phone so i ended the call. I waited for some minutes but she didnt call back. Something was definitely wrong somewhere. Was it Amaka? All of a sudden Amaka had stopped disturbing me. Has she already told Cynthia? Or was she waiting for me to recuperate before sending me back to armageddon? Why should i be even bothered about Cynthia when she obviously doesnt give a hoot about me? I tried her number again and she picked immediately. Am sorry, i didnt have airtime to call you back she explained. Is it also lack of Airtime that made you not to visit me since i came back from the hospital? I asked Kelvin, am sorry, its just that i have been busy with my studies lately, you know how this lecturers are starting to behave na, i cant afford to get any carryover she concluded. Waoh! I never knew calling me and hanging out with me was now a sure way of getting carry over o. i sarcastically and tactically aproached the situation. That wasnt what i meant, i will come and see you later today, she promised. I dont know how she did it but that managed to calm me down. I went back inside to find philip already dressed, he was ready for his shopping. Who doesnt like free things? Guy, make i follow una? Musa foolishly asked. Na me Bring you come school? Philip replied him with a question. Dont worry we go buy chin chin for you, he added. And we are going to buy biscuit for kelvin vivian added. I just managed to smile at her dry joke. Philip and Vivian walked hand in hand like two newly weds. I was getting jealous. ****************************** House became boring when they left. I went to the playstation to keep myself busy. I established my legendary status by defeating almost everyone on line, i have a way of turning jealousy into positivities. Musa called me that i should run back home. I went home to find a mini boutique, vivian really did a good job. From native attire to casual wear to tux to shoes and many clothes i could only dream of. Kelvin dont worry, you are next vivian said and walked out of the room. Philip wetin be your relationship with vivian na? I asked philip after vivian left. Which kind question be dat na? Vivian na just my manager, nothing more. He replied Well,If you say so. Philip wont hide anything from me, he is this kinda guy that would be proud to tell you when he catches a new prey, the philip i know will admit to you if he really had any relationship with Vivian. My heart did a little skelewu dance, my liver and kidney joined. See this things o, where una dey when kiddy go claim 3000USD? NB:Kiddy is dat nigguh that won davidos skelewu dance competition, a whooping $3000. Only God knows what 3000USD would have done to my life. First of all, i would buy a new phone(no disrespect to my nokia3310). I would change my wardrobe, arrange new clothes(for crying out loud, who still wears fubu?). Oh!! and before i forget, id rent a new house. If wishes truely where horses, na plenty meat be that o!!! Oboy Mr.fresher na next tommorow o philip brought me back from wonderland. I dey plan to hold party if i win o, he continued. Correct guy, i shouted. Truth is, i was already feeling insecure in my relationship, which better place am i to find a replacement if not in a party that would be attended by almost all the girls in 100level? I trusted philip in that regards. You don already win i added Instead of una to think of better thing, na party una wan trow musa complained. Musa always acted so religious, i wonder how philip had managed to live with him. Well, unlike pairs there say, attracts. Shut up there!! Philip commanded, No let me pursue you from this house o, he added. I just the advice you o, if you drink come this house i go lock you outside musa threatened. Apart from being a womanizer, philip was also a drunkard. He had once drank himself to stupor, he was brought home on a wheelbarrow. The painful part was that he would puke all over the room. In times like that, musa would have no other choice than to sleep in my room. Oboy whether you like it or not the party must hold i concluded. You dey talk because person never vomit for your body. If e want make e vomit, if e want make e no vomit nothing be my CONCERN. I said and walked out of the room. ****************************** I had already reached my compound and was going to my room when i heard or rather perceive an aroma. Only my secondary school chemistry teacher could hear smell. Take this conical flask and smell the content, make sure you hear the smell properly before you write your inference o he would always say. I sniffed the air to know the direction of the aroma. It led me to mikes room. I went into the room to find mike lying down on the bed. Oboy wetin dey fire na? I asked him. Na chicken na, any problem? I went to the pot and opened it. I saw a full chicken cooking I was suprised, on a normal day mike could not even afford to buy fish, and today he is cooking a full chicken. Oboy how you take get fowl na? I asked You think say I broke Like you? I wanted to insult him but i remembered the meat on fire and i decided to play along. Oboy, na true o, i dey jonse dis days o. No be only dis days sef, you be broke ar:se nigga. he kept blabbing about how he had light, sound system and t.v in his room and i had none. I was mute until the chicken finished cooking. We brought the pot straight to our middle and started helping ourselves. Mike was a very poor cook but who cares? E no dey kill person na. I ate to my fill. My phone rang. I thought it was Cynthia but when i saw the caller I.D, it was Amaka. Kelvin, we need to see. Any problem? i asked. If you value your relationship you would come. Where would i meet you i asked. Meet me at cedar eatery. I was expecting Cynthia but i had to rush to see Amaka. Oboy i dey come make i go see person i told mike before leaving the room, little did i know that i was running away from danger. WaTCHOUT FOR EPISODE 9 TIME/TARGET: After 15likes
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 11:58:12 +0000
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