CANCER UPDATE: This one is hard to write. Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages of concern because you noticed I have been gone from FB for over two weeks. On August 30th there were two live shows I wanted to be at and join the chat. I slept through the 5:00am ( EST time) and was late for the other. After that I closed my computer and had what I call a meltdown Cancer is expensive!!!! even with insurance ( I pay a partial portion of each bill) The bills are coming is faster than I can open them. So I started to toss them in a box. I also have been ignoring the various Dr.s calls to continue my treatment. I simply felt sick and tired of it all. For me, Cancer also caused depression. I feel like people think they can catch cancer from me. I had a great visit from my Aunt and Uncle, but my mothers, step-father, and sisters live out west. They have been there for me rock solid. Pity Partyfor myself? Not really, hurt, confused and now angry. On Mon. Sept 8th my dear friend and my main producer Tony Marinello, came back from a small vacation and called to ask how I was. I said I wasnt doing so great and started sobbing. Even though he had music to do that had a deadline, He dropped everything and was here by Wed. morning. :) We have been needing to record, but put it on hold. I truly felt like I was drowning. I was overwhelmed by the past years events in my life and I stopped coping. I told Tony the water was up to one nostril and my eyes were really big because I was going under. He said he was going to grab me by my hair and pull me right up He did. Its a wonderful thing to have two very dedicated friends here in the same state that listen to me cry, share my laughter, nurture, and cheer me on to succeed not only as an artist but as a person. Linda Fellows is another one.Some people have 50 friends and a very large social life. I tend to be private and believe it or not, I am on the shy side if I am not with people who are the same breedas myself. Tony and I went grocery shopping, he helped me get some things accomplished that needed to get done and I was ignoring ( even a new bra) and a haircut!!! We ate, laughed, cried, and I even wrote a song!! ( pretty little ballad) He stayed until I was out of the darkness and I was grounded.I will never forget this and will be eternally grateful. This was the lowest point in my life. I was giving up and that would have been a first for me. I NEVER give up!! Even when it LOOKS like I am, I still work quietly on the challenge until it is conquered. This doesnt mean I dont stop something I was hoping to accomplish. Some things just arent worth it and I move on. So now I am back. I will call my Dr.s and proceed with chemotherapy if needed, go to radiation, and hope I havent caused any unnecessary damage. I said going into this that I would share honestly. So there it is.......
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 01:31:31 +0000
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