“CHOOSING FRIENDS” Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Very few people want to spend their life without friends. It has been said that if you end up with five really close friends over the course of your life that you should consider yourself to be really blessed. Think about it. How many really close friends do you have? I am not talking about acquaintances. I am talking about friends know everything about you and still love you and vice versa. What if you don’t have many friends? God’s Word offers advice on the type of friends you should have and what kind of person you need to be to get good friends. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Influence/impact Exodus 23:2 Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd… Eph. 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Compassion / Forgiveness / Kindness Prov. 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Choosing friends carefully John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Are you ready to lay down your life for your friend? “I thought you were my friend.” Friend is a word with many meanings in today’s world. It can mean closest companion, bosom buddy, or the one who knows your deepest secrets. It can aslo be the word young people least want to hear from their biggest crush. What does it really mean to be a friend? Friendship is more than just hanging out and having fun – it involves deep commitment to, care for, and loyalty for another person. And what’s the point of friendship after all? As you grow in your friendship with each other you’ll grow spiritually, and your actions will also point others to Christ. God-honoring friendship. 1 Sam. 18:1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. One in spirit; love as yourself 1 Sam. 20:42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Promise of friendship Prov. 27:6,10 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away. Who do you share with? Rom. 14:19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (If something is done for your edification, it is done to benefit you in some way, for example by teaching you about something.) Goal: peace and mutual edification. Prov. 27:5,6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Heb. 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Encouragement not to sin. Heb. 10:24,25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Meeting together / talking Our friends affect who we are and who we become, therefore we should choose our friends wisely. Your actions should reflect the behavior described in the Bible. One person whose behavior was love/anger/pride/encouragement. Does it have something to do with your behavior? How do you react to such behavior? How would this behavior affect a friendship? Do you see or exhibit any of these characteristics in your friendships? How do you usually respond to these characteristics in your friends? Whether we like it or not, the behavior of our friends affects us, if we hang out with cynical people (If you describe someone as cynical, you mean they believe that people always act selfishly. If you are cynical about something, you do not believe that it can be successful or that the people involved are honest.), we may find ourselves responding to things in a cynical way. If we hang out with angry people, we’ll probably find that their anger affects us. We need to choose our friends wisely because our friends shape who we become. Fun/talented/dangerous/immoral friends Would your life be sufficient if these people were your friends? How would it be different? The reasons you would or would not this person as your friend? How could hanging out with such people change you? Prov. 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Do your friends have any influence over your actions, behavior, and decisions? Explain. 1 Cor.15:33,34 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34 Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame. Bad company spoils you and corrupts your good personality or character traits. How have you experienced the influence described in these verses in your own life? Have you ever seen it in others’ lives? Explain. Have you ever been a positive influence in your friendships? Explain. What differences exist between friendships in which people are negatively influenced by others and friendships in which people influence others in a positive way? We are all influenced by the people we spend time with. It’s important that we choose our friends wisely to avoid being changed in a negative way. There is nothing wrong with reaching out in friendship to those who need God’s love. But we need to make sure that our friendships don’t affect and shape our lives in a negative way. Rom. 16:17,18 I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. Give me characteristics or attributes that are important to consider when choosing friends. Do you see these characteristics in your current friends or acquaintances? What is easier to pull someone down or pull someone up? How is this like friendship? Different? How do you establish and friends who will pull you up? Whom you can pull up? God wants us to reach out to hurting people. He wants us to help those who need help up. But no matter how strong we are in our faith, it’s possible that others can pull us down. God can give you the strength to stand, but it’s important to choose your friends wisely. Ask God to show you which relationships you should and shouldn’t be in. When you were a young child, who was your best friend? Why? Is it better to have one or two close friends or many friends who aren’t as close? Why? Why do you look for in a friend? Why? Why do you think God created friendship? Could you survive without friends? Why or why not? How much influence do your friends have over your choices? Share an example. If you could be friends with any famous person from history or alive today, who would you choose? Why? Which traits are most important in a friendship? Why? Which character traits do you have to offer a friend? Ruth 1:11-2:3 But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? 12 Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— 13 would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” 14 At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. 15 “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.” 16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” 18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. 19 So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?” 20 “Don’t call me Naomi,[b]” she told them. “Call me Mara,[c] because the Almighty[d] has made my life very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted[e] me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” 22 So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, arriving in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning. Now Naomi had a relative on her husband’s side, a man of standing from the clan of Elimelek, whose name was Boaz. 2 And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.” Naomi said to her, “Go ahead, my daughter.” 3 So she went out, entered a field and began to glean behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she was working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelek. How was Ruth a good friend to Naomi? How did Ruth demonstrate the character traits? What are some ways friends help us? TIPS ON FRIENDSHIP: Listen a lot without interrupting. Don’t gossip. Ever. To anyone. What goes round, comes round. Pray with your friends and for your friends. Invite your friends to church and youth group. Be yourself around your friends and everyone. Forgive others quickly and completely. Do things that let you talk with your friends, not just movies. Be transparent and consistent. Be an advocate for your friends when you’re with them and when you’re not. Keep in touch. With emails, phone calls, and visits. Invest in friends. Be open to new friendships. Be loyal. Avoid put-down humor. It’s toxic. Don’t help friends avoid responsibility or consequences. Be the sort of friend you want to have. Jesus’ love for us is the true meaning of friendship. John 15:12,13 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. The Scripture says to love each other as Jesus loves us. How can we do that? There is no greater love than loving others the way Jesus loves us. The love can be as big as saving someone’s life, but it can also be as small as being nice to another person even if that person is not nice to you. What’s so great about this Scripture is than not only does it tell us how great Jesus’ love is, it tells us that we, too, can be instruments of that love. Pray for God’s direction in your friendships. Ask God to help you choose your friends wisely.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 09:56:44 +0000
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