CIA: We spied on Americans. Congress: National Security. Saving America from terrorism. NSA: We tapped Americas phones. Congress: National Security. Phones connect terrorists. FBI: We spied on American Muslims in their places of worship. Congress: National Security. Muslims are terrorists. CIA: Also, we tortured Americans and detained them without due cause. Congress: National Security. By Americans you mean terrorists, right? FBI: We were in on that action, but we only interrogated brown people. Congress: National Security. Brown people look like terrorists. John McCain: Pickles! NSA: We monitor every email and text message for naked selfies. Because we can. Congress: National Security. Could be naked terrorists. Also, copies? CIA: We spied on Americas allies. NSA: Us too. FBI: Ditto. Congress: National Security. Some of our allies are terrorists. America: Squirrel! Congress: Anything else? CIA: One thing, hardly worth mentioning. So, we also spied on Congress... Congress: WHAT? WHY, YOUVE DESECRATED OUR HUMAN DIGNITY! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! AMERICA IS OUTRAGED! WE DEMAND AN APOLOGY! WE DEMAND VENGEANCE! WE DEMAND ACTION! WE DEMAND THE HEAD OF JOHN BRENNAN ON A FLAMING PIKE AND WE WANT IT PLANTED IN FRONT OF THE CAPITOL TO BE SHAT UPON BY GIANT FREEDOM EAGLES! _____ Note 1: The bald eagles are to be fed a steady diet of those little Constitution pamphlets dipped in the blood of fallen patriots that has been personally blessed by Jesus. Note 2: I might be paraphrasing. Slightly.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 21:17:33 +0000
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