COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!! Had an early start this morning, at 4:15ish the big dogs started barking like crazy and woke me up. I decided to lay there long enough just to see if they would shut up....and they didnt. So I get up, go out to the garage and count noses....1,2,3,4.....my noses were all curled up resting on their beds in the warmth. I go back up to bed and lay down and......WOOF...WOOF...WOOF... I know its not one of ours so Im not worried. WOOF...WOOF...WOOF...WOOF...WOOF....fine.... I decide I better go see what the heck is driving the neighbors dog nuts BERFORE the Princess is awoken. Now, we live kinda in the sticks, and our neighbors house is about 100 yards away with just a fairly wide hedgerow between us. I put on my knee boots, grab a flashlight, lock our dogs in the garage (because I already know I wont be needing their help) and head toward the WOOF...WOOF...WOOF. I slide down one side of the ditch, climb up the other and my flashlight dies. I get all lined out thinking I can find my way in the dark and it hits me....HEY DUMBASS!!!! ITS SHOTGUN SEASON AND YOUR OUT HERE IN CAMO BOOTS, CAMO SWEATS AND A BLACK HOODIE. As you already know Im not very smart so I continue toward the WOOF....WOOF...WOOF. Next thing I know, Im completely wrapped up in a briar patch and cant hardly move. I decide it would be best to just drop to the ground and army crawl toward the WOOF....WOOF...WOOF. And again it hits me HEY DUMBASS...ITS SHOTGUN SEASON AND YOURE OUT IN A TIMBER IN CAMO CRAWLING AROUND ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES!!!! And then I come to the neighbors backyard, rise to my feet and by the light of their Christmas lights (obviously not on timers) I was able to see just what was driving the neighbors dog to WOOF...WOOF...WOOF. There stood a pin oak tree about 15 feet tall with a huge ass coon about 7 feet up and at the base was an anciently old bird dog doing his best to reach said coon. I tried to tell that old dog to go lay down, I would take care of it.....I think he wasnt willing to miss a good laugh. I walked up to the coon and in my gruffest voice said....get your ass down and outta here, before you cause that damn dog to wake up the Princess. And the coon replied.....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! I turn around and there stands the damn bird dog.....WOOF...WOOF...WOOF. By this time....Ive been out in the cold for half hour, fell in the mud, crawled through a briar patch and beginning to get a little pissed. I turned around and told that damn dog getonouttahere, and he took about 4 steps toward the house, I reached up and grabbed the coon/alligator/bear, he let go of the tree and before I knew it...he was on his way down my arm and gonna kick my ass!!!! Im not really sure what happened next but all I know is, I still have all my fingers and able to post on Facebook. I climb back into bed and the Princess is snoring just like the coon...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 14:42:42 +0000