COUNTDOWN I just wrote a post on therapy, but it was really grim and depressing, so I thought I’d break up the series with a happier and more lighthearted memory from over a decade ago. ___________________________________________________________ I have always been able to do anagrams. I would see the word DISEASE and turn it into SEASIDE, or stare at an EVIAN bottle and see NAIVE. I first learnt I could do this while doing the Guardian quick crossword; after that, I started rearranging the names of girls at school (and was called a freak in return. Kids, eh?) When I was 22, I came second in the BBC New Sitcom Writers’ Award. It was a bit overwhelming, as I had never written a script before then, so I thought I should learn how to write properly. I was accepted onto an MA in Scriptwriting at Goldsmiths, University of London, but it cost £3,000. The problem was, I didn’t have £3,000. While puzzling over how I was going to find a spare three grand, I came across an advert in the Metro. It was incredibly serendipitous and coincidental: it said “Are you good at anagrams? Do you want to win £3,000?” The show was Brainteaser, a Channel 5 quiz show (later cancelled for phone rigging). After a quick phone interview, I was accepted as a contestant, and made my way to Oxford (the production company, Endemol, didn’t even pay contestants’ travel fees, which made me all the more determined to win the money). I remember standing nervously at my contestant podium and realising I couldn’t see the screen clearly because I was too shortsighted, but I didn’t have any glasses. After much consternation on the part of the producers, I was presented with an old lady’s pair of glasses. They were Dame Edna specs, and made me look like a small Asian owl! Then it was onto the quiz, which featured anagrams and general knowledge. The first contestant I was up against was fantastic, and I only just scraped past her. Luckily for me, the next contestant wasn’t very good at all. I cant remember the exact questions, but her answers were a bit like this: QUIZMASTER: What is the name of the residence of the President of the United States? CONTESTANT: The Empire State Building? And then I was through to the final, where I had to solve a series of connected anagrams. Mine were: SUE USED DOUSE SOURED AROUSED SAVOURED And I won the £3,000! After that, I decided to apply for the television show Countdown, which is all about anagrams. There was no monetary prize, but it was a grand televisual institution in the UK. After one failed audition, I passed the second, and travelled to Leeds to appear as a contestant. I won the first episode, and was mortified to find that the contestant I was up against next was only 14! His name was Chris Philpot (now my Facebook friend) and he was super-bright. I remember thinking “I can’t be beaten by a 14-year-old, I just can’t!” It was close, because he was brilliant, but I finally scraped past him to win. He was sad because he had come on to win the teapot (a prize only awarded to winners). So I gave him my teapot. This wasn’t really altruism, because I’m heavily into interior design, and the teapot… well, let’s just say it wouldn’t really fit into my ultra-modern design scheme. But it is also an iconic, much-coveted piece: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d3/Teapot_(levelled).jpg I failed the next episode, so only won two, but was pleased to win any and to meet the hosts Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman, who were wonderfully warm. I went on to work for Countdown for the next three years, though that’s another story. So here is a clip of lovely Chris and me on Countdown, aged 14 and 23 respectively. Hope you enjoy it. https://youtube/watch?v=Aq0VWeTVWfY
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 05:48:49 +0000
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