CRIMINOLOGY CONFESSIONS #2 World without Leech (1) hmn..wala naman siguro outdated or obsolete when it comes to love story diba. its ok to make confessions here kasi 98% ng boys walang interest magbasa ng anik2x ng kung sinong babae. hehehe. i represent the modern dalagang filipina =) and i want to share my cliff hanger tale.. well, sabihin natin im a member of those girls na may Diary (referring to movie title, yes_). i got busted just to see my crush walking or talking with other girls in the campus. naging motto ko in life: improve yourself, make them drool. the best revenge is showing them you deserve someone much better. time is the best cure, but it hurts you kno.. haha. it has nothing to do with criminology being my accidentally chosen course. it doesnt even compliment my character. but let me tell you about this guy, this particular guy i got interested with. i listed him to be my crush for the whole college life but guess what? windstruck, lightning sword, whatever.. call it divine intervention, i started writing my own love story just like anybody does. Here’s the first part. i cannot divulge even to my closest classmate how much i like him. first, nakakahiya. baka ipatawas sya dahil sa maligno umanong umaaligid sa kanya. secondly, fear of breaking up. ayoko maranasan. i feel like it will take me a lifetime to wait, but just want to prove it will all worth it. how i noticed him, let us go back to square one: love at first sight. he has the most beautiful black coal eyes with long lashes na kapag tumawa or ngumiti ay nagiging pentel line. Hindi naman sya si coco martin, pero may something na mysterious and magnetic lalo na pag tinitigan ka nya. I was glad di ako napabilang. I only observed from afar but I never ever approach him. pero parang nababasted na ata ako dahil nagkakaron na sya ng circle of girl friends. We’re classmates but I’m too sure wala sya idea na isa rin akong nilalang sa mundo. One afternoon, angels with trumpet open the gate of miraculous heaven for kartada syete/friendzone/seen zone etc., birds humming, drums beating,having heart attack now: umupo sya sa tabi ko! he asked me about personal info like in resume, like job interview. Surprisingly, kilala pala nya ang mga elementary classmates ko. You know, I came from a pool of nerds and achievers. We also went to the same university bago nag criminology. And there you are… =) I build the foundation. Isang hollow block palang pero in time we will be good friends. Sana. I was impressed. He’s a self humor plus intelligence and wit na nagkatawang tao, very frank, at kung kulang ka ng self confidence manghingi ka sa kanya. Talking to him is like oliver twist to sykes: I want more. I wonder how those girls whom I thought to have their brain located in fingernails, ginupit pa, tuloy wala na, eh natatagalan nyang kausapin. First 10 seconds of conversation, may impression ka na sa tao. Naging acad buddy kami especially sa lahi ng math. Di ko sya nakikitang nagdadala ng notebook, papel or ballpen. Pumapasok lang sya para makinig sa prof at maglaro ng maliliit na halimaw sa internet kasama ang ibang boys. But when it comes to exam, kundi pangalawa, una sya sa highest. I spent hours reviewing pero sya.. .. oo na nga lang.. haha. Kakainggit. My close friend started tugging my uniform pag lalapit na si crush. She quietly took the role of fortune telling, whispering “bagay kami”. First and foremost, kami ang magkalaban sa room. May iba pa, pero sabi nila may chemistry daw kami. I don’t know. Not sure. I always smile to everyone. One thing I didn’t like is teaching the slow. Ayoko ng paulit ulit dapat isang turo lang alam na. pero sya, kahit sa gitna ng exam nagtuturo sa katabi pano ang pattern ng pagsosolve. After months of classes and getting to know each other, some boys began noticing me. Wild flower daw ako na kailangan titigan para makita ang kagandahan. Naks oh. Ganda your face, gay. I didn’t buy it. I lost my teen age life hearing praises which I never believed. Now I aged with hunch and fears. I too, feel like “this got to be something”. Literal na every day ang baon ko ay two hotdogs. Yung vida na tres pag binenta isa-isa. Fast paced sa bahay lahat instant and i have no time magluto kaya iibabaw na lang sa sinaing ko ang ulam tapos luto na. di ko napansin na mag iisang sem na pala yun at yon ang ulam ko. He got tired seeing my lunch and asked if that’s my secret intelligence boosting. Syempre nahiya ako kaya from then on nagtatago na ako kumain ng lunch. Pero nahuhuli pa rin. Hahahha. he started buying me softdrinks and meals na lutong bahay. It feels good- the thought. kasi kaibigan ko taga kain hindi ako =) nagulat ako sa changes.. I’m living! I’m breathing… I checked mirrors kahit sa nadadaanang nakaparadang kotse. I appreciate myself. Going to school means much more. I never felt this way before, kahit sa lahat ng biktima ko being my secret crush since grade 5. Di ko sa inyo to naramdaman. Ahu. Of course my diary is the only entity on earth that I could share my joy with. I secretly admire his eyes, frankness, signal no. 10 na kahanginan err.. self confidence pala, ang pino nyang kilos… ang pagiging magalang nya sa sangkababaihan at kagaguhan kasama mga barkada. I cannot tell him this. It will ruin our friendships. Baka iwasan nya ako. Isang uwian, dumilim ang langit kumulog kumidlat. Lumapit sya sa akin at sinabing “liligawan ko ang sasabayan ko sa pag uwi, I want you to be the first to know”. Syempre tagalog yan sa totoo kaya intinding intindi ko. My malanding close friend, she started experiencing sili sa pwet effect. Kilig na kilig ang bruha. Ako na raw yon. Ako na =) ayoko mging assuming.. pero pakiramdam ko ako nga.. Dahan dahan ko inayos gamit ko. Feels like hours. Hindi na ko makahinga dahil ang puso ko tumitibok na sa nguso ko. This is it, diary please wait for me. I’m going home with the new status. It will be complicated! =) But then.…. I don’t know man. Namalayan ko na lang nakauwi na ako at nagkulong sa c.r. probably my nth time crush heart breaking mode. But this one’s different. It’s more than a lady could handle. Such an innocence heart, I don’t deserve this. Until this date, though our fate be twisted, I have that moment restored in my f*** good memory. The two of them, yes, he offered his help to carry her things. And I? WASAK!!!. MS. ELFEN ------------------thank you for keeping this confidential.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 03:25:46 +0000
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