Caden was 3, I sat at the Dallas center for deaf and blind! I held a toddler in my arms whom had failed hearing tests, and was mute! We went that day to get a report and fitted for a hearing aid! Believe it or not I was relieved I had heard of autism and was at first a possible diagnosis, but that day I was on top of the world! For I was happier with a deaf child then an autistic one ( so I thought )! As a sat there rocking my mute quiet shy toddler, a team of doctors walked in! They looked at me and proceeded to tell me your son is not deaf, we believe he has autism ! My lowest of lows in life was that day as I screamed obscenities at the staff and doctors! I cried and begged God they are wrong ! I ran out with my son never finishing the appointment! I sat in my car, calling my husband ! I couldnt drive, I couldnt breathe, I vomited! I hated God in that moment, I hated life, I hated doctors, I hated friends, I hated family, I hated you all! For every smile was an insult! Every bit of joy was a dagger! I was never again the same Amanda from that day forward! Its been 9 years since that day! Im less angry, less defeated, but none the less never have I seen that Amanda again! Thats our beginning! Ive never told the public
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 02:07:17 +0000
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