Cajun 12 Days of Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las night with dirty rice. I don tink de pear tree will grow wid all da heat in the summa. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.-Marie Day 3: Dear Boudreaux, why couldnt you a sent me crawfish? Im tired of eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Grand Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phydeaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster-Marie Day 4: Dear Boudreau, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more %44#*!@ birds! Deez four, what you call dem callin birds were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an fed de rest of dem to de gators.-Marie Day 5: Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen somethin useful. I like dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys at de Patins in Labadie!. Merci beaucoup! -- Marie Day 6: Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you Cajun turkey! Poor egg suckin Phydeaux is scared to death at dem six geeses. He tried to eat dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit oyrster dressing on Christmas day.-Marie Day 7: Dear Boudreaux, Im gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Thibeau, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinkin up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow. - Marie Day 8: Dear Boudreaux, poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and their cows. One of dem cows got spooke by da gators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me no. I told dem to get to work guttin fish and sweepinq the shack but dey say it wasnt in dair contract. Dey probably think dey too good ta skin nutrias I caught last night. Marie Day 9: Dear Boudreaux, What you trying to do huh? Thibeau had to borrow the Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords-a-Leaping across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, Well La DiDa. You get Chicory coffee or nuttin. Mon Dieu, Emile. What Im gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria, and de cows done eat my turnip greens. Marie Day 10: Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman dont kill you, I will fo sure. Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey waz Ladies Dancin but dey doan act like ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got bit by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde an had to get toilet paper; the Sears catalog wasnt good enuf fer dose hoity toity Lords royal behin.-Marie Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where yat? Cheerio an pip pip. Your 11 pipers piping arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya fais-do-do. Da new mailman he having a good time, yeah, dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off de Sunshine Bridge today, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, ticking package in de mail, doan open it. Marie Day 12: Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love anymore, no. After da fais-do-do, I spent de night with Jacque, de head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemans club on de bayou. The floozies, pardon me, Ladies dancing can make $20 for a table and de Lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids doan have no more cows ta milk, I trained dem ta set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run my shrimping business. We will probably gross a million nex year. Marry Crismas ta all and ta all, a gud nite! -- Marie
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 03:19:45 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015