Can I just say I am glad it is Friday? It comes on the heels of a week that I won’t have any trouble saying “So Long” to. It’s been a week of weather, confusion, and crossroads. It’s been a week of mistakes, missteps, and misunderstandings. It’s been a week. Enough said. I’ve been studying David for a day or two. He’s my go to guy when life gets tough. Why? Because his life answers a lot of questions for me when mine hits the skids. “How can a person continue to hold onto faith when life is kicking them in the teeth?” “How can a person still see God when she feels totally confused? How can a person still be used for kingdom work when they are so drawn to the world or the things of it?” “Where does a person find the courage to pick up the pieces and move forward?” So when life and my thoughts begin to spin, I hit up my steady Biblical BFF…David. 😄 I know that’s a little irreverent but I know in my heart if he were alive today we would be good friends. Why? Because we are so much alike in many ways. We’ve both slain giants in our lives. We both love to have a good time and we both love God and people. Mainly, however, we both know how to blow this thing called faith big time. He was so extraordinarily wonderful, yet so typically human. And my favorite thing about him is that regardless of how badly he failed, he never turned from God. Like me, he may have spent hours on his knees in prayer for forgiveness and guidance…clarity and discernment, but he knew where peace would be found -face down before his Father. In the end, David’s heart is what kept him tethered to God. Likewise, mine does to. I can relate. So to start unraveling this mess I have endured this week, I had to root it out a bit. I had to sit in the dirt and dig around so to speak. What was really eating at me? Why have I lost my appetite (not just for food but for many things)? I took a trip down memory lane. First, I went back to a young, red headed child named David. The youngest of 8 sons and probably a typical baby brother, he was nothing spectacular. As a sheep herder, he was ruddy in his complexion and wiry in his stature. Our first glimpse of him depicts him as a teenager, leggy and lanky, awkwardly athletic, caught somewhere between boyhood and manhood. Hardly the vision of a king that Samuel had predicted to Jesse, David’s father. As Jesse continued to survey his sons to see which one will be king, his eyes nor his mind ever fell to David. Isn’t it funny how we do that? We get a certain image of what God is going to do and who he will use to accomplish it in our mind and we never look outside the box and recognize that he’s God. He can make something out of nothing. Ironically, it’s what He does best. He made this entire universe from nothing but a breath. He named and strategically placed every star in the sky, yet we question what He can do with our lives. I have to shake my head as I type this. I’ve questioned that a million times this week, and with one glimpse at my friend David, it already seems as though I can see God working in my own life. And David hasn’t even picked up a stone. Having revisited David in his youth, it was only fair to revisit my own childhood. How on earth did I get from that giggling gap toothed, girl with chestnut pigtails to the woman I see looking back at me now? And who is this woman? Somewhere along the way I changed and that’s okay because it’s the design of life. We grow up, we mature (sometimes) and we learn. What we can’t do is lose sight of that little girl. She is the foundation on which this woman was built. Her life is the roadmap to the crossroads I stand in. Just like David’s heritage and childhood of shepherding laid the foundation for what God had planned, mine did too. I was raised to be kind, love my God, place my trust and hope in Jesus, and love others. Serving others was instilled in me at an early age. I loved it. Do you remember the Jerry Lewis Telethon for MD? At 7, I sat down on a Saturday morning to watch cartoons and alas…there were none. All that was on TV was this funny comedian raising money for children who couldn’t walk. At first I was irritated. It was Saturday…I wanted my Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo. As I sat there fuming, a beautiful little girl was wheeled beside Jerry Lewis. I watched her smile as he talked about how brave she was and would never walk without a cure. She was beautiful. Jerry Lewis became teary eyed and so did I. I grabbed a coffee can and went door to door. In my neighborhood I raised $75. Dad drove me to the municipal building where a donation drop spot was established and I proudly handed my coffee can to an astonished woman with a yellow arm band that said “Volunteer” on it. That’s my foundation. That was my purpose then and it’s my purpose now. The people and the means of what I do may shift like the sands over the years, but my purpose remains - to love others and do what I can. I have had my purpose and validity questioned this week by people. Some I love dearly and some I barely know. I’ve heard things like “You post a mini sermon on FB and then go out with your girls and post a contrasting picture” (ouch). “You say you’re fine yet all you do is run and not eat. You’re obsessed.” “ You need help.” (ouch again) “If you were a good mother you’d be there for your child whether he is right or wrong.” (that one took me to my knees) and the final blow “A Christian woman doesn’t live like this.” That one left me down for the count. Having to endure these questions is the price of living a very public life. Having no answers to some of their questions is the result of being human. So here’s the truth. Like David, and like all of you, I mess up. I get caught up in life and stumble. I should not and cannot be the standard to which you live your life. That standard is Jesus. He never messed up. He never went off the chain and he never will. You set your eyes on Him because He will never fail you. And even though I would never intentionally do so, I will fail you every time. I’m not perfect. I’m just a country girl who loves people. Loves the Lord. Loves to encourage others and Loves to write. Loves to work out and run. Having said that, let me explain something. I run for my health and my sanity. 😎 My workout posts are not meant to harm or discourage you but to spur those of you on who are trying to change your life. And for those of you who inbox me for help those posts are to serve as a reminder that if I can do this you can. They aren’t written out of vanity or bragging but out of a sense of “Been there done that. Still doing it.” My blogs about my faith are intended for the same purpose. Not be an example of who you should be (heaven forbid you set your eyes on me for that!) but to remind you that no matter who you are God is right there working it out. If He can love me, warts and all, He can love you. I can assure you there is nothing you are facing that I haven’t either already survived or have been seriously tempted by. You have a purpose as well and as a foundation. We can’t all be writers or teachers. Sometimes I wish I were neither. I’d love to be a pew warmer. Go on Sunday, listen, go home. But God doesn’t let me get away with that. So I write. I teach. If I have disappointed any of you, I assure you I have disappointed myself the most. But that’s life. It’s part of being human. It’s part of the maturing and learning process. I just wanted to end this week with a little clarity and insight. I’m going to be walking with David and Jesus in the next few days. I’ll post about my findings. Feel free to walk along. Theyre good company for sure. But you already know this.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 15:15:25 +0000
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