Cant sleep too many thoughts and questions runnin through my head. A million questions and not an answer to any of them. What do I do next? Looking at possibly going to rehab for a couple of months, for the benefit of my children but why go to rehab? Because I will do whatever it takes to prove that I am serious about providing a better more positive life for my children so they may grow up and not have to suffer from the disease of addiction. I am an addict always have been always will be. I am powerless over it I cannot change this but what I can change is the way I treat it. I can give in and go down the rabbit hole or I can call upon God and ask him for strength and guidance. I know the rabbit hole is just like any other hole there is a bottom full of regret and pain. However I could not tell you where calling upon God leads because I have never asked him for strength and guidance to change the way I think. I have always took the easy way and jumped head first down the hole. Well today was different I called upon him and cryed my eyes out as I told him what was on my mind. When I stood up I had the most amazing feeling the greatest high of my life and I was happy. My life is headed for change and a great one at that. It never hurts to cry out and ask for help. Sometimes we dont have the strength to do it ourselves.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 04:34:26 +0000