Capp Oconnell : Friends I’d like to speak to you today about another apparent side- effect of TTS. Women. That’s right my friends. The W word. Trouble right here in River City. I have gone to great pains, some greater than others, in my life to remain single. One of the advantages to being single is that you can act upon a whim. Awhile back I got a whim. HMMMM, I whimmed. I think I’ll get an old camp trailer and fix it up into a mobile man cave fishing camp. Seemed reasonable enough at the time. Not knowing much about them I did what any modern man would do. I turned to the internet. As I innocently perused the many Vintage Travel Trailer sites I happened upon one that was not only vintage in nature but was dedicated to the very brand of my recent acquisition. What a stroke of luck says I. Then IT happened. Without so much as a single’ Warning Label’ I clicked on it and BANG! Smell of cinder clap of thunder. I had Women. I mean they put warning labels on things like Preparation H telling you not to take it internally....Really? They even warn me that my coffee is hot. You would think any responsible site owner would warn you that If you click that button you will have a half dozen women suggesting (telling) you what to do next and next, and next. Honestly I did not notice the site owner was one of them. They can’t help it. It’s bred into them. I can be laying on my couch, minding my own business watching a baseball game and from 2000 miles away one of them will make me get up, put on my shoes and venture out in the 100 degree heat to paint a one inch red line around MY trailer. They came out of the woodwork I tell you like flying monkeys. Meanwhile I’m dodging “requests” like bullets thinking, ‘Am I the only man on this site?’ Suddenly I see a ray of hope in the form of a ‘Like’ from one of my own kind! I ran to it like a medivac chopper only to find the coward hides on another site watching me squirm like a turpentined ant on a hot sidewalk, all the while tossing me ‘likes’ like they do any good. Who’s side is this guy on anyway? Well consider this an open plea for help. Somewhere out there has to be one more poor fool who just came down with this dreaded affliction. Join, I beg of you. For the love of all that is merciful. Join Oh my God. There’ two more new recruits. Heaven only knows what insidious requests they will have. If only I....Crap! gotta go. One of them wants a wooden bumper........
Posted on: Tue, 30 Jul 2013 01:55:09 +0000
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