Capricorn: You will find work in a strange office in which everyone is happy, no one makes irritating small talk about reality TV, and the work is challenging and rewarding...HAHAHAHA....Just kidding. Those stars are such jokers. Aquarius: Pain will be yours this week when that Man from Nantucket finally hears all the terrible things youve been writing about him. Pisces: Love flickers, love fades, and love can gutter and die, but love is still better than those freaking compact fluorescent bulbs. Aries: The stars had something important to tell you, but Arkansass gay marriage ban was just overturned so theyre going to get drunk and go dancing instead. Taurus: Its time you learned to treat people as individuals instead of mathematically predictable members of an aggregate set, no matter how well that works. Gemini: Your life will be cut tragically short next week by the untimely discovery that your breadmaker can also be used to make doughnuts. Cancer: You may be heartbroken, but you can no more stop him from leaving than you can stop the toaster from falling into your bathtub Thursday. Leo: Sometimes you miss your days as part of a plucky band of mystery-solving teens, but hey, survivor guilt is like that. Virgo: To be truly human is to never give up; however, to be truly human is also to know the meaning of sacrifice. Its some deep shit, really. Libra: Although its true that the only tool you have is a hammer, everything you see looks a lot more like a sort of medium-sized box than a nail. Scorpio: An error in last weeks horoscope has probably resulted in you having a chance midnight encounter with a tall dark strangler. The stars regret any inconvenience. Sagittarius: They thought they had you pegged. They thought they could screw you over and youd just take it lying down. They were wrong. Youre thrashing about in ecstasy like a crazy person. Its a little freaky.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 13:23:57 +0000