Care Package Day Jonathan took me out today to spend some time in the warm sunshine, to do a little shopping, to drop some things off with my aunt, and to see if I could tolerate traveling in the truck. It doesnt sound like that much, but it totally wore me out. Sometimes I feel like I suffer from narcolepsy. Ill be fine and then BAM! Im fast asleep. Not a little asleep either. Im completely knocked out without any warning. Once I wake up, I cant remember going to sleep. I wake up confused. Its kinda scary. We had stopped to pick up something for our kids to eat a few miles from the house. I had one of these sleeps during the ride home. As I was sleeping, Jon stopped at the office and picked up packages. One of my teammates from school dropped packages off from my students at the house while we were gone. The UPS guy dropped off more packages. I woke up to a table full of gifts. Wow! I felt super spoiled today! These special people span from my childhood to my previous job in Canyon to my current life and career. I received so many things I cant even list them all. I can say I think I have enough socks to get me through every chemo treatment now. No more cold tootsies for me! I also have more Burts Chapstick which is good because I seem to misplace mine a lot. Now, I can place one in all my special locations so I will stop losing them. The timing of lemon drops and Jolly Ranchers couldnt have been more perfectly timed. Ive managed to avoid all the mouth issues until this morning. A thin, long, sliver of a blister formed on the roof of my mouth along my gum line. When it popped this evening, it was like a brand new dose of chemo erupted inside my mouth leaving me with the taste of chemo forever in my mouth. YUCK! Smells continue to keep me on the edge of nausea. I struggle with smells more than anything else. Everything thats supposed to be calming and relieve nausea creates nausea. Not fun. Fatigue is my other enemy. If I cant sleep, for whatever reason, my restless leg syndrome issues come back making it hard to go to sleep once Im ready. Its a daily battle for balanced naps. I did manage to clean all my toilet bowls today. I dont know why this made me feel so accomplished, but it did. I also managed to wash and dry a load of clothes. We had our little family Christmas this evening. Jonathan bought me some funny cancer shirts. Humor has helped us cope so much. I cant wait to wear them! I wont be the only one smiling, I promise. Our kids usually get big ticket items for Christmas, but that didnt happen this year. In fact, they were both really hard to buy for because they really wouldnt ask for anything. As hard as this has been for them, theyve all shown their own moments of strength. It makes me proud of them. When they struggle, it breaks my heart. I just want to hold them in my arms and rock them like I did when they were little, but thats too painful even if theyd let me. KLee has really had a hard time with everything. It was good to see her take my wig stand and do its makeup. It was such a sweet KLee thing to do. I loved it! My poor husband is so tired. Hes probably looking forward to being at his parents house just so he can get a break. He knows once Im there he wont have to be my primary caregiver. Hes in need of a mini vacation. I cant ask for more from him. He gives me his all every day without complaint. Im really hard work, & I fear Im aging him. It makes me proud to be his wife, yet so sad because of all hes having to go through. Now that Im starting to regain my range of motion, the stiffness in my chest is so evident. I work each day to raise my arms a little more, to move them out even more. Theres this fear Ill tear something, so its a seemingly slow process. I can pull sweatshirts over my head now though. I thought Id have to go the entire winter without my sweatshirts, but its not looking that way now. Yay! I love my sweatshirts. Im probably one of the few people in DFW that wears sweatshirts every month of the year. Yep, Im that kind of crazy! Our friends from here hooked me up with a #finishthefight Dallas Cowboy shirt. Jon bought me a Dallas Cowboy beanie for my birthday, so Im ready for the playoffs! The Dallas Cowboys had no idea how much their motto would be a part of my journey, yet here we are fighting together for two totally separate things but the message remains the same. Ive completed our church Advent reading program. It reminded me we put way too much emphasis and value on things this time of year and not enough on our Savior. Im sure there are many who write and say the same, but knowing you are walking the thin line between life and death has a way of completely changing your perspective. The value of my faith in Jesus is a priceless gift. Tomorrow is mid-chemo lab day to check on all my blood levels. Its also the day I get my stitches out of my port. Most importantly, its travel day! Please keep us in your prayers.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 03:06:57 +0000
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