Career Advice— “Who Are You?” 7 Easy Steps to Boost Your Self-Esteem by Rosa Chillis on December 22, 2014 “In order to get at any truth about myself, I must have contact with another person. The other is indispensable to my own self-existence, as well as to my knowledge about myself.” --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) Who am I? Perhaps you have asked this question about yourself. Knowing who you are is essential otherwise it would be impossible to relate to the world around you. Look at the list below and think about all the characteristics that describe you: When it comes to your moods or feelings are you happy, angry, or excited? Would you describe your appearance as attractive or short? What talents do you have? For instance, are you musical or nonathletic? Would you describe your intellectual capacity as smart or a slow learner? Do you have strong religious beliefs? Or are you an environmentalist? What are your social roles? For example, are you a parent or a girlfriend? How about your physical condition? Are you healthy or overweight? Answering these questions will give you a partial description of your self-concept. Self-esteem is the part of the self-concept that involves evaluations of self-worth. For instance, suppose your self-concept includes being reserved and quiet. Your self-esteem would be determined by how you felt about this quality: “I’m glad that I am quiet,” or “I am embarrassed about being quiet.” Messages we receive from other people play the most important role in shaping how we regard ourselves. For example, how would you know how smart you are? How would you gauge how attractive you are? How would you know how kind or mean, skinny or fat? Even if you looked in the mirror, you still wouldn’t know how to judge your appearance without getting comments from another person. Your self-concept and self-esteem are also shaped by how others treat you. If you are constantly criticized by family, friends, and coworkers this will tend to slowly tear you down and strip you of feelings of self-worth, and self-confidence. In fact, low self-esteem makes it unlikely you will make even the smallest decision; but improving your self-esteem and self-confidence will mean a better and happier life. Something else to keep in mind is research suggests that personality, is to a large degree, part of our genetic makeup—we come “programmed” with certain characteristics. But you can do a great deal to learn skills and with practice build your self-esteem. To get an idea of your personality, take 10-15 minutes and complete The Big Five Personality self-test at this link. outofservice/bigfive/ The “Big Five” Personality Traits test measures five areas: extroverted/introverted; agreeable/antagonistic; open/not open; neurotic/stable; and conscientious/undirected. You will find numerous ideas to boost your self-esteem on the Web, in books and articles, from colleagues, and so forth. But here are 7 easy steps to get you started: 1) Refresh your appearance. Updating your appearance from head to toe will give you an immediate lift. I agree with Yves St. Laurent – if you look good you will have greater self-confidence and self-assurance. Tip: save money by selecting quality items; cheap clothing wear out quickly and must be replaced frequently. 2) Practice good posture. Good posture simply means to stretch the body and to hold the parts of the body in their natural alignment from head to toe. Stand tall, with your weight evenly distributed on both feet. When you slouch and hunch over, this shows a lack of confidence. Achieve a position of power. Stand tall. Sit erect. Tip: good posture does not mean stiff. Try for posture that is well balance, erect, and a body free of tension. 3) Exercise regularly. If you are out of shape, you’ll feel unattractive and insecure. By improving your physical appearance – and health – will boost your self-esteem. Tip: the endorphins from exercise will make you feel amazing! 4) Volunteer. Take your mind off yourself and think about others instead. This will make you feel good; this will increase your self-esteem. Tip: the holidays are here; any soup kitchen would welcome your help. 5) Be assertive. 1) Do not let people order or command you (when a person issues a command, even a small one, promptly say, “did you ask something?”); 2) Do not talk apologetically (when you talk apologetically people see you as lacking backbone—they look at you as weak). Tip: take time to think before you speak and are fully and definite in what you will or won’t do). 6) Practice daily affirmations. These are one-line “I” statements of self-belief. For example, I am gifted, I am spiritual, I am worthy of self-respect, and so forth. Learn to appreciate yourself. You are a wonderful person! If you have made mistakes, as we all have, forgive yourself . . . Tip: look in the mirror as you recite your affirmations. 7) Upgrade your job skills. Some experts believe there are only two ways to gain self-confidence: 1) achieve success and 2) learn new skills. Tip: short on cash? Visit your local One-Stop Center that provides training *free* of charge. Summary: Take the Big Five Personality Test to get an idea of your personality; practice these 7 easy and effective steps to boost your self-esteem. But start small. Take baby steps. Remember you have worth, you have value, and with time you will succeed in gaining the self-confidence you desire.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 04:50:08 +0000
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