Celebrating Longevity and My Mother’s 90th Birthday Perhaps it’s only a sign that I’m getting older, but I’ve been thinking more and more about longevity. It’s not so much that I fear death (although who of us can say we don’t fear it at all?), as it is that I’d kind of like to know how the remaining years of my life will unfold. I accept that few of us can know the future, but wouldn’t it be good to have a positive vision for the final decades of our lives? Today however, I want to salute longevity much closer to home: that of my own mother. Where my family celebrated my mother’s 90th birthday (her birthday is actually later but we celebrated in summer so more of the family could come). It was a great occasion, not only because of my mother’s age, but because she continues to be so alive. It is amazingly good to see her energy: she stays sometimes alone, mostly cares for herself, talks a lot, has many friends, keeps up with her five children, thirteen grandchildren and one great grandchild, and stays well-informed on current events. As anyone who knows her will attest, it’s a pleasure to know her. I admire her, not only because she is my mother, but because in the course of living out her life she has adapted to change. As we’ve gotten older, our relationship has gotten better. And maybe that’s my point, perhaps it just takes time for stress and contention to melt away, and for the fundamentally important aspects of life too emerge. Had my mother died twenty years ago, our relationship would never have had the opportunity to evolve as it has. For those of you who dread getting older, I say, consider the positives. Yes, change comes, and we have to adjust. But why shouldn’t the last stage of our lives be the most intense and meaningful? Maybe in our final years we can learn the lessons we’ve always resisted. Maybe we’ll learn to fully appreciate each moment, to love our friends and family members as they are, and rather than seeking always more, to be content with exactly what we already have. Wouldn’t those be wonderful blessings? I can’t tell exactly how my relationship with my mother will further evolve, but I don’t think the story is complete by any means. When I was chatting with my brother Tom about plans for my mother’s birthday, I joked, “maybe we should just skip the 90th birthday and start making plans now for her 100th.” While one never knows, I think it’s likely my mother will be here to celebrate her 100th year. Her mother lived to be nearly 103, and my mother seems to be healthier than her mother was. As for me, I plan to keep working, to keep traveling, to eat mostly pretty well and to hope for the best.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 21:38:43 +0000