Challenging self. The War. I dont usually acknowledge this day. I never thought of it as important enough to do so. It was and is usually a blah day at best for most of my years on this planet. It falls at a weird time of year so unless you really knew me youd never know it happened unless I advertised it....and why do that? Any birthday self promotion would feel hollow to me or worse delusional. Its the kind of day where if no one else noticed then for whatever reason its how your life was structured to be. Of course this is before the advent of Facebook and other social media doing advertisements for you and thats been cool because I love wishing all of my friends and family happy birthday. Its a regular highlight of my day. Seriously. Anyway, its been a very trying few years personally on many levels and I decided that this year I really need to make some hard changes and charges going forward. I need to be better. So thats my goal. Thats my challenge. To use whatever time God is going to give me this next year of my life to become a better man. A better husband, father, brother, friend, business owner and partner, and servant. Let the war begin. I cant solve all my health issues but Im going to do what I can to get in better shape. I look and feel like crap. Lol. So dropping 30 - 40 pounds and overhauling the diet permanently is the goal. Regardless of what my body does Im going to do this so we will see what gives out first. My resolve or my body. Let the war begin. I have a collection of essays and notes to convert to either a blog or a book. Cant let my own thinking its not good enough stop me from actually finding out. Let the war begin. I have a universe to flesh out, explore, and expand. Find an artist and put it out. Let the war begin. Whether Im suited for it or not.....Ive been appointed to serve.....and Im not going let politics, personality clashes, mistrust, broken relationships, or discouragement hinder that charge. Let the war begin. Lastly........the hardest thing is the first thing I have to do: I......may need your help. As an only kid and one who has made it a point to try to never have anyone get too close and certainly not close enough to know I need help, this is actually incomprehensible and terrifying to consider. I abhor being a burden to anyone. Always have. Always will. Still...I dont know if I can win this war without help. And stakes are high. I cant afford not to. Seriously. Sooooo......thats me asking in advance. Thanking you in advance. And continuing to love and build with you.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 11:54:29 +0000
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