Change. Its a scarey thing. Not knowing what choices to make, which way to go when the sky is falling. Im facing an uncertain future, which makes the present moment scarey. I wish I knew what to do, which way to go with my life right now. It saddens me that I have become incapable of being independent. If only for a short while. I wish I knew what to do. Im confused about alot of things, and I hate confusion. It seems that all the solid foundations in my world, my place, my job etc are all disintegrating in front of my eyes. Change is on the horizon, and I dont know which way to go. I wish I had a map. Im distressed about my cat, and her furry sister, I hate that Im breaking their relationship up. I watch them playing together and I cant help but feel mean, at seperating them. I hate thinking that ultimately I may have to give my cat away. I held onto my lil dog thru my last catastrophy, and in the end it worked out for the best. Its like being responsible for a child. You cant just jump into anything without considering whats best for them too. I wish Kristy could take them both, so they didnt have to be apart. Ugh. Im confused and lost today in thought. It seems silly to be so devoted to my animal, but my animals have never let me down. Never turned against me. I wish I knew what to do. What would be best for us all. I need a miracle, of some kind...
Posted on: Sun, 03 Nov 2013 12:07:32 +0000
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