Change. It’s happening. Can you feel it? A year ago today, according to the Jewish calendar, I wrote my first parsha post. I told myself I would write a d’var Torah on the parsha every week for a year and see how it goes. It started because I wanted to impart digestible wisdom to a group of amazing girls that I was a madricha (counselor/leader/…) for last summer and it flourished into an amazing project that forced me to think in new ways and be disciplined with my time. There were many weeks I just didn’t want to do it. People told me it was okay to skip a week, but I didn’t feel that I could. I have no idea if any of the girls even really read it anymore. I think it got to a point where, although they continue to be my inspiration, they ceased to be my reason. And still, every week I think of them as I write it. I really do. Even though I don’t still keep in touch with all of them, they are on my mind every Friday morning. This week, we start a new book of the Torah, Devarim (‘words’ or deuteronomy [what does that even mean?!]), which is also the namesake of its first parsha. The Jews are about the end their forty year journey through the desert and enter into the land of Israel. Before doing so, however, Moshe (who knows he won’t be entering with them) details all of the things they have been through and recounts all of the mitzvot they’ve learned along the way. I’m pretty sure some character in some movie I once saw or book I read said something like the following, “You gotta’ know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.” This is part of the essence of Devarim. When I think about where I was when I first started writing these posts and where I am now I am amazed. For those of you who read my posts regularly (thank you by the way, you really give me strength to keep going and although I don’t do it for the love and support, it definitely helps to receive it) or are close friends of mine, you’ll know how important self-development is to me and how committed I am to enacting my highest essence. Because of this, I am constantly changing and growing. My life is always evolving. Every year I look back and think how much I’ve changed or how much I learned this year. Heck, I could do that every day. In my first post last year, I said about Devarim that it was not only a recounting and looking back, but a roadmap for the future. It’s funny how that paradox is so necessary. Although I preach idealism and hold this, perhaps childish, virtue close to my heart, I am not only a ‘move forward, don’t look back’ kind of person. I am constantly reflecting on my past behaviors in order to come to a new future. It is necessary. We are all headed towards Eretz Yisrael. Jew and non-Jew alike. Eretz Yisrael is both the physical land and also the concept of our ideal state of being. We all want that. I don’t want to say something as simple as, ‘in order to appreciate your present you have to recognize your past’, although I do believe that and that is very much a big theme of this week’s parsha. What I want to say goes a little deeper than that. The sages say that we stand on the shoulders of our forefathers. That has a dual implication. One, is that we would never be where we are without the effort and wisdom put forth and imparted by those that came before us and paved the way. And the other is that through our efforts and application of that wisdom, THEY can reach a little higher and higher with each generation. While they give us the elevated starting position, we bring them higher and closer than they were before we came along. In class this week a girl implied that when we do something bad we are ruining our forefathers’ work. This just isn’t so! Much of the Torah is all about our mistakes. Moshe, in recounting our past plights this week, wastes no time in reminding us what we did wrong. And it is through these moments that we learn how to be higher and better. And even if we do fall, we only fall to the level of the highest shoulder of the last generation. It may seem like we are going farther down, (what I am about to say needs a lot more explanation than I can give it so just go with me) but in this world of fixing, things are often the inversion of what we seem to perceive (the sages say that actual reality is ‘hafuch’ or upside down/inverted/opposite from what we think or see). We are always going up. Even if we feel we are going down. We are always moving forward. Even if we seem to be taking steps backwards. In order to appreciate the now, we have to remember what we were. Self-reflection is an essential and necessary part of growth. The Jewish nation is about the step into a very different future and way of life than they have known up until this point. And right before doing so, they take a moment to recognize their past experiences. This gives them the understanding of how far they’ve come and the support they need to know just how ready they are for what lies ahead. I don’t know if I will write next week. But I do know this has been an incredible year. L’Chaim to many more to come! May we all be blessed to have the objectivity to reflect on our past, the wisdom to appreciate it and the courage to learn from it. Shabbat Shalom!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Jul 2013 04:48:41 +0000
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