Change in our own attitude and behaviour as individuals: In the past few weeks there have been two incidents which seem to have provoked a great deal of outrage and calls for harsh action to be taken. The one incident is the comments made by relief magistrate Herman Badenhorst to a rapist he was sentencing. The other incident is the FHM writers Maxim Barashenkov and Montle Moorosi’s comments about rape. The general public as well as various civil society organisations have come out very strongly against the words of these three men. The two FHM writers have been fired and have had their professional reputations permanently tarnished. The magistrate faces possible litigation from civil society as well as internal disciplinary processes from within the judiciary. This opinion piece is not a rehash of the heated discussions that have taken place recently regarding these two events. Rather, the purpose of this opinion piece seeks to provide an alternative to the almost automatically punitive approach that most commentators and respondents have taken. In order to bring about positive change in our country, we need to start working at bringing about positive change in individual people. The dialogue cannot only focus on macro-level actions such as poverty alleviation, unemployment and housing. There is much that we need to change and must change in our own attitude and behaviour as individuals. As much as the behaviour of three men in question is worthy of condemnation, we must remember that a person’s worth or value to society does not begin and end with one incident of his or her behaviour. We must, in some way or another, be able to see the holistic person – most persons are capable of positive change and growth, and can be of value to society (and probably have been in the past). It is too easy, in our sometimes-vitriolic age, to vilify and condemn people whose behaviour is objectionable. Once we have condemned, we feel satisfied that we have addressed an injustice, and then our attention spans wanders and we think about something else, warmed by our sense of self-righteousness. It is easy to be outraged. It is simple to call for litigation against people who say or do things that offends us. Do we stop to consider how did the person get to the point where this is what they think and say. Pausing and reflecting requires more effort and yes, more self-control. A far more worthwhile approach is to look at how we can work with people who have erred in what they say and do. None of these three men’s actions put them beyond the pale of positive change. However, the more they are attacked and subjected to heated criticism and punitive processes, the more likely they are to be defensive and therefore, closed to self-reflection. If we want people to change, we have to be willing to create a space where they can reflect on their actions, engage in calm, meaningful dialogue with people who have been affected by what they have done, and work on their own way forward. Whether you call this restorative justice or just plain common sense, we are not going to get different results by doing more of the same. We cannot continue down an endless path of punishment while ignoring the other routes that lie along side us, within our vision. Dialogue, calm and a willingness to understand, even when we do not agree, even when we condemn the act, will get us further. Trying to understanding someone does not mean forgiving them, or condoning what they did. By understanding how something came about or where the person is coming from, we may learn more about how these things come about and how to prevent them in future. NICRO uses this approach with people in conflict with the law, sometimes for quite serious offences. We ask that the general public consider this approach when dealing with conflict in the workplace or in the public sphere. Firing someone from their employment will probably serve to make them feel they were unfairly treated. They may even start to see themselves as the victim. These thoughts will get in the way of real self-reflection, learning and growth. Going the route of dialogue and understanding with little emphasis on punishment is not necessarily the ‘soft’ option some people believe it to be. It will require effort that is more genuine and more honest. South Africa can do better than this. We are going to have to, if we want things to change.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Jul 2013 09:21:41 +0000
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