Chapter 35 I looked around inside the flat. Everything there became ugly. Kanti mna ulonwabo ndilufumana nini? Kanti mna uthando loze lufike nini kum? My stomach started to make noises and I felt like vomiting. I went to the bathroom. As I was bending infront of the basin, I heard the door open. Lerato came in, his trouser not zipped, his shirt hanged outside and buttons not fastened in order, zishiyashiyana. Ndavela ndanaar worse and I ended up vomiting. I told him that I am going back to Resho’s place. He told me that andiyi ndawo ndizawuhlala pha. Rato: Ninjalo ke nina zifebe zamaChosa, you eat our money and then you want to run away. Me: I didn’t ask for your money or anything from you, I am leaving you and your flat, thanks for everything. Rato: You are joking my baby, I said you are not going anywhere because I am not done with you. Me: You are too late! Ndatsho ndiyongena eroomini ndiyopakisha iimpahla zam. Rato: You know what Alu? Me: What? Rato: If you ever walk out on me, I will kill you with this gun, then kill myself. He said that holding a gun in his hand and he looked very serious. I was trembling and threw the suitcase on the other side of the bed. I sat on the corner of the bed, buried my face in my hands and started to cry bitterly. I saw my whole life as if I have lived it. I was really tired of life and I asked Lerato to shoot me. My mind started to think about my child. My heart melted and I was far away in thoughts. I didn’t want to leave my child alone so I started to cry again. He also threw the gun on the other side of the bed. He came to stand infront of me and he pulled my hands from my face. Wandibamba ezandleni wandijonga. Tears were still falling down my cheeks. Wabonakala enodano. He knelt infront of me and put his head on my thighs. He started to cry asking for forgiveness. I didn’t know what to say or do. We just continued to cry. After few minutes, he stood up and pulled me up, he drew me closer to him and gave me a very tight hug. I became so weak as he started to apologise endixelela ukuba akazazi uba ungenwe yintoni. We both sat on the bed, hugged and kissed. I went to the bathroom to wash my face. He followed me and washed his face and hands. He took his phone and ordered our favourite pizza, tikka chicken with sweet chilli sauce and fruit-cocktail juice. I was really feeling hungry nam. We sat there for 30 minutes, endixelela ukuba uyandithanda and that he had future plans for me. It was really nic to hear those words but I didn’t trust him anymore. The delivery man knocked at the door with our order. We ate nicely like the good days we used to have, sityisana siphuzana kumnandi. Salala kamnandi naye sele ephinde wasober wangula Lerato ndimaziyo. During the next days, he was very loving and very supportive as I started to prepare for my exams. He was the loving Lerato nyani. On the last Friday of November that year, I was going to write my last paper, Criminal Procedures. The day before that Friday, Lerato fetched me from Resho’s flat. He took me to Fourways and we had supper in one of the restaurants there. He bought me new shoes, jean and a top and told me that he wanted to uplift my spirits. When we got home, we both took a shower. That night, Lerato made love to me like he never did before. Ndalala ngathi ndise Dreamland. I woke up in the morning and he made a healthy breakfast for me before he went to work. I was going to write in the afternoon. He gave me R2000 and told me that I must spoil myself after my exam and he will see me late that same evening so that sizokhupha iphepha. I was on cloud nine. Yaba ngathi andisagqibi ukubhala. After that, ndahamba noResho saya eSandton. We did some shopping then went to a coffee shop and indulged ourselves kwi caramel waffles with ice cream and toffee sauce. Ukugqiba kwethu sakhwela imetre taxi. We dropped Resho at her flat then proceeded to mine. Ndehlika ndangena egatini ndenyuka iisteps to flat 19. I thought I was dreaming when I saw my suitcases and my bags outsided the flat next to the door. The flat was locked and there was a keyblock in the hole of the key. I called Lerato and his phone was on voicemail. I sank down ndanaba ndiyamise umqolo wam edongeni. I wanted to cry but I didn’t have any tears. Ubomi babundikhohlakalele nyani. I took my things and walked the 8km distance from Lerato’s flat to Resho’s flat. Not that I didn’t have money but I just wanted to think.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 19:33:42 +0000