Chapter 4 Lessons I imagine we all have a time or place in our lives when a lesson was learned. One that somehow has managed to settle and become frozen in our mind and resurfaces now and then. One that really changes you. This type of lesson was handed to me on an early afternoon at the counter of the store. It was late February, winter was slowly coming to an end and the days were filled with boredom. A group of older friends and their families were going to Seven Springs to ski. (I enjoyed skiing, I really had only been a few times with my youth group at church.) They had mentioned to myself and a good friend, Kelly Higgins, that there was room if we wanted to go. How exciting! Now all I needed to do was gather some quick cash. I needed to rent boots, poles and skis. I would need a lift pass and my food for the day. I ran home, the excitement made my heart race. I found my mother at home in the kitchen, she had just finished up work for the day as the deli manager at the Salineville IGA. Words flow from my mouth, spilling at 90 miles a minute. It’s simple mom, I need around $100 to go ski for the day. She looked at me with a pretty good stare and simply answered “no”. I started to speak again, she never even looked at me and she interrupted my speech of begging desperation, “no”. Don’t ask me again. I knew she meant it. I never pushed to see what would happen if I ever did ask again. Well, it’s late February and it’s only three more months until I turned 15. Grandma! I will ask my Grandma for an early birthday present and then I wouldn’t need as much from my parents. I have always been taller and lanky, a little like Gumby. So if you imagine him sprinting, I would guess this was the seen. I ran on a dead sprint up the main street to the store. Of course, my father was there because it was Saturday. They both just happen to be standing behind the counter. I looked only at my Grandmother, knowing my mother had just said “no” and started to sell her on why and how she could give me my early birthday gift of money. She never had a change to respond to anything. No words or expressions, because my dad did not hesitate. The look from him scared me a bit, but what terrified me was the roar that erupted from his voice yelling, “Enough! What do you think you are doing?” Not many of you have ever heard my dad get angry. Well, lucky you. It don’t happen often, but when it does, he makes it worth it. When dad stop yelling and only stood glaring at me, I was glad a higher glass counter separated us. He then looked at me with a little disappointment and said, “Your grandparents give you gifts because they want to, not because they have to and they owe you nothing. The way you just behaved is in no way deserving of any gift, ever! Now get out of here and don’t you ever ask anyone for money.” I left the building with heavy feelings. The first being, lucky to be alive and second was shame. I was so overcome with sadness that I had simple expected my Grandma to just hand me something that I did not deserve. I did noting to work for it. I just expected to be handed it. Thank you Mom and Dad for telling me “no”. That day really did make a difference in my life. I must work for whatever it is I want, no matter how big or small. It just doesn’t mean the same if everything comes easy. I love you both more than words can express! You are the best. Don’t think the lessons were all mine. This place gave dad a few too. One of the biggest lessons he learned, was to never assume all people see the same value in objects. One day he past the home of a family he knew. The couple were working on cleaning out a large buildings that would soon be torn down. So he stop to inquire on permission to pick. They informed him that they had sold all the good stuff from the building. Two antique dealers had already been in there and mostly junk was left. They did not expect payment in the form of cash because of this, and a dinner gift certificate would be just fine. Dad hesitated, picking after one dealer could be bad, but two dealers would potentially but a waste of time. He could not help himself, he had to take a peek, it was only dinner and some peoples definition of junk was dads definition of treasures. Well to his surprise, the dealers who had picked before him did not have an interest in what my dad did. He found two iron bed right off the bat. One was complete and the other was just the head board. He found boxes of very old hand tools and a large bag of very old marbles. Dad was also a little before his time, he loved to salvage the architectural piece and managed to recover the large banister and staircase. Lots of hinges, latches and knobs. I can not image what that man could have done with Pinterest in the day. (I think he could have started it.) The building he was picking and dismantling was so primitive the house still had the dry sink that was used many years prior. Inside this dry sink was an antique sponge ware bowl lid. But the discovery that stopped his heart, was an antique steam driven toy. A child would build a fire in the toy filled with water. The steam would drive the gears and the toy would move. (I don’t use the word antique frivolously. True definition of antique is over 100 years old. Anything else should be referred to as vintage.) What a success, lesson learned. Never turn down a pick and never assume there is nothing left. Sometimes dad had to learn lessons of unwritten law, like it can be tough for a man to have a women as a business partner. Especially if the man thinks he is the boss and it’s impossible to ever think you will be, when your mother is that woman. Dad may have had the idea and the drive to get them moving, but Grandma had staked her claim on the decisions now and dad knew he was okay with that. Lessons are part of life. They help us grown as a people, they shape who we are and effects how we respond to future situations in our lives. As long as we each take to heart our lessons and learn we are improving. As said by the writer Charles Dickens -- Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken but - I hope into a better shape.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 00:19:21 +0000
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