Chapter 60 I was sick the whole day on Easter Monday. Mommy was very worried and Daddy checked on me now and again. He didn’t know that it was fear of having the HIV that was haunting me, he thought that I was sick from flu or headache. I became very pale ngosuku olunye. Yiloo nto Kanye eyamenza ukuba afounele udoctor wakhe and make an emergency appointment for Tuesday morning. Dali: Nono, I have made an appointment for you to be seen by Doctor Kwinana first thing tomorrow morning vha? Me: Oh no Daddy, when? Ngomso? You didn’t have to do that, ndizobaright, yintloko nje le. Dali: Too late my love, sendiyenzile. Besides, you are too pale for my liking and awutyi Alush, that worries me sthandwa sam. Me: Ndizawutya ke Daddy, ndiziva ndibheterana now that sithetha. Lwalubetha ngamandla uvalo, ndinayo nendawo enesiyezi. Ndandisoyika nyani. Dali: Ayinamsebenzi ke mntanam noba uziva better, uzohamba noDaddy wakho vha? We will also use the opportunity to do the HIV test. Yhoooo, wayengayiqondi tu uDaddy uba yeyona nto ndandiyibaleka Kanye leyo. Yangaske ndibaleke ndimke ndiye kude. He came closer because all along wayekade ehleli ecaleni kwam apha phezu kwebhedi. He held me tightly with his strong arms, wandiqamelisa phezu kwegxalaba lakhe and brushed my back whilst kissing me on the forehead. He told me that everything was going to be fine, and that I will be alright. No, I was not going to be alright and nothing was going to be fine, (I thought to myself). How can I be alright and die slowly with Aids? We were disturbed by his phone. He took it out from his pocket and looked at it. Dali: I have to take this babygirl. I nodded and he pulled himself. I watched him as he walked towards the door, wathi xa evula ucango wayicofa then kwakungona athi: Hello! He went out ndashiyeka ingqondo ithatha ibeka, ndabe ndiyiva intloko ukuba iyankqenkqeza nyani. I took two Grand Pa headache powders, ndazisela zombini then ndatsala ithrow over ndazombathisa. I started to pray silently, iinyembezi zinqumleze umbombo kwamanzi ipillow. I pictured my funeral, ndade ndanombono katata nomama neesisters zam zihleka uba ndide ndafa ndibulawa yiAids. Yhini Nkosi yam iintshaba zam zizakuvuya zihleke, ndabe ndicinga ngomntwana wam ozakushiyeka engazazi noba uyintoni, engenamama engenatata. Kuthe xa kulapho, ndehla ebhedini, ndaguqa ngamadolo. Although ilizwi lalingaphumi, imilebe yam yayishukuma. Ndacela uxolo kuThixo ngazo zonke izinto eziwrongo endakhe ndazenza. Ndiphinde ndakhwela ebhedini ukugqiba kwam sendingcono ke ngoku. Caba ndabiwa bubuthongo kuloo nto ingqondo yam yayimane ithatha ibeka. It was 01:23 am when Daddy entered my room. Ndothuka Kanye xa evala ucango. Ndaphakamisa intloko. Dali: Sorry loloza wam, ndikuvusile? Me: No its okay, I also wanted to go to the bathroom. (ndatsho ndiphakama ndisiya ebathroom). When I came back, he was inside my blankets. Me: Hayibo Daddy……. Dali: What is it now baby? Yiza ndikukhulule silale. Me: No thanks, don’t worry I will manage. Ndakhulula ndisoyika, ndathatha inight dress yam ndanxiba then ndangena ezingubeni. Daddy was wearing nothing. Lwatsho uvalo. Yhoo yintoni na le ndikuyo ngoku? I was afraid to ask ukuba why eyolala eroomini yam. Yayingathi kuzawuvela kungene umntu. Waske watsala ingubo necomforter uJola wandombathisa, wandiqamelisa kuye, wandiphuza kamnandi endixelela ukuba uyandithanda and undithanda kakhulu. Me: No matter what? Dali: No matter what sthandwa sam. Me: Even if I am HIV positive? Dali: Do you want me to prove that to you my love? Me: No, no, no my love, I was teasing you. Yehake, ndimteaser ntoni ndinyanisile nje. We continued to talk about the weekend ndade ndaphinda ndozela. I opened my tired eyes in the morning, to see Daddy’s smiling face. Ndawakhupha onke amehlo. Oh, bendingaphuphi mos, ibisenzeka nyani le nto. Dali: Morning my lovely princess (endiphuza). Me: Morning Tat’u Jola! Dali: Ubungenokhe uthi, Morning Jola sthandwa sam? Me: Yho, (ahem), Morning Tat’u Jola sthandwa sam. (ndizama ukuzincumeza). Dali: At least uzamile. You slept like a baby, you were so beautiful in your sleep. Me: And I think you didn’t sleep, just like a guardian angel. Dali: Who can sleep knowing that he has a duty to guard a beautiful and sweet angel? Me: UMama uthi uphi ke ngoku Daddy xa ulele apha? Dali: I cathetirised her before I came here, she knows that you are not feeling well. Me: I am so embarrassed, how am I going to look her in the eye? Dali: Am I embarrassing you baby? Me: No, not like that, not you! I mean……. Dali: I feel disappointed, I thought I was doing the right thing, now my feelings are hurt,………. Me: Hayi maan Daddy, ndixela into yokuba mna ndiyoyika and ndineentloni zokuba……. Dali: Zokuba kunye nam? Me: Kaloku kukho nabanye abantu apha and ……. Dali: Save it right there! Andifuni kuyiva sthandwa sam. (watsho ephakama enxiba). He told me to meet him at the dining room in 30 minutes. 30 minutes was going to be 07h00 am. Me: Kanti when is the doctor’s appointment? (ndabuza bandayo phofu). Dali: At 8h00 am, ufuna ukuvasa nam or ufuna ndikuvase? (ndawakhupha worse amehlo) Me: Andifuni nenye, enkosi Daddy. He winked then waphuma ndashiyeka ndinikina intloko lifting my eyebrows. I went to the bathroom, ndazijonga esipilini whilst brushing my teeth, ndizibuza ngaphakathi uba ingaba nyani ndi HIV positive? Ndangena ebhafini ndingayiva nale nto ndiyivasayo, ndaphuma ndathambisa ndanxiba ilokhwe yam ende, emhlophe endandiyithengelwe nguDaddy kwa Out of the Blue ePort Alfred after iNew Year as one of my New Year’s presents. Ndanxiba ubhontsi wam omhlophe wakwaAerosoft, combed my hair, ndazenza ibunny. It was 07h07 am when I entered the dining room. UMommy noDaddy noSanele were having breakfast already. Ndavele ndoyika ndema emnyango ndimelwe yimatha. I thought it was going to be me and Daddy alone, or noSanele ke. I didn’t know uba uMommy uzakube sele evukile. Mom: Yiza Alu, ulele njani? Owu Nkosi yam, what type of a question is that? Should I say ndilele kakuhle nomyeni wakho or what? Me: Ndilele kakuhle mama enkosi, ule…..nilele njani nina? Mom: Kakuhle sisi qha I was worried ngawe, how do you feel today? I missed you izolo, bekuvakala ukuba kuthulekile akukho mntu uhlekayo nomana ecula, nam bendinesithukuthezi, sendiyiqhelile into yokuhlala nawe. Me: (ahem) ndilele kakuhle Mha, enkosi. I sat down and took muesli for the first time in my life. I was thinking uba kufuneka nditye healthy kuba ndi HIV water then ndayothatha ibag yam after uDaddy ethe ndizakumfumana emotweni. He opened the door for me, ndakhwela sahamba sayongena eOxford. I was very nervous ndade ndasendela uVuvu, usisi Lwandokazi nosis Phatheka iisms ndisithi ndicela bandithandazise. Ndandingaziva caba ndandisendiyihlafuna ngamandla ichappies. Daddy stretched his hand wakhongozela phantsi kwesilevu, ndathatha ngokuyikhupha, wavula iwindow wayijula kude ngomsindo. Dali: Ungaphindi vha? I just nodded. Mfncmm, uDaddy akayifuni nyani ichappies. We entered the yard at Dr Kwinana’s surgery, wazokundivulela ndaphuma, wandibamba ngesandla watshixa then sayongena. We were second on the list so zange sihlale kakhulu sangena kugqirha. He talked noDaddy ndabe ndingabamamelanga tu ingqondo ithatha ibeka. We went to another door safikela komnye unurse who did the counselling with us. We then went to Pathcare, satsala amagazi sobabini. Uvalo lwalungayekanga ukungongoza. It made me to panic into yokuba kuthiwe masihambe iiresults zizakuthunyelwa kugqirha. Mfncmm injani na kanti into yapha!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 00:22:09 +0000