Chapter seventy three Bendimjonge nje ngoku akhalayo...bendingenalo nolosizi lwakhe...yhuu this woman has caused me so much pain...so much...tjooh hay kunzima. Even though I said to Zolani that I will try to forgive her...I really dont think I will be able to...bendingafuni nanto endidibanisa naye mna...yhuu ungcolile lo Mama bethuna. Ingona azibonayo uburongo xa egxothiwe kokwabo?! Hayi sana ulimenemene andinabhongo. Ebekhala ke eyilonto exakwe naku phefumla. uTata wamnika itshefu. Bendimlindile ke agqibezele lento ebeyithetha. Tata:Thula kaloku Nonceba ngoku woyikisa nomntwana. Watsho em brusha emqolo. uImi ebehleli phezuko Zolani esitya izipho lakhe ejonge uNonceba...shame umntwanam ebe lost nyani. Me:Uthi waye wathini? Wandijonga wasuka wakhala wesi umntu...ndaqwaba izandla zam...Hayi iwesi kengoku. uZolani uye wandingquba nge ngqiniba kancinci emvakokuba ndithethe lonto. I exhaled. Mama:Ndii...ndi...ndiiice-laa u u u uxolo Azo-sule mntanam. Ndi...ndi...bendirongo. Ndathula ndajonga kude...ndasonga izandla zam...I was also tapping my foot on the floor...bendinomsindo kanjani. Me:Yho undivise kabuhlungu shame Mama! Ndamcacisa uMama...Ewe ndiyayiva intlungu yakho yokungakwazi ukuba nabantwana...Im sorry for that but indlela ubundiphethe ngayo nezinto ubuzithetha kum azicazeleki and azixoleleki. Ewe undikhulisile...ndiyabulela kakhulu ngalonto kodwa for the past two years ndilapha ekhaya, impatho ubundinika yona has just wiped away all the good memories I have of us. You lashed out your anger at me kodwa zange ndakwenza nto mna...noCinga zange wakwenza nto. Ndifuna uyazi ke Mama ukuba zonke ezizinto ubuzenza nezizinto ubuzithetha kum zishiye esona silonda esingasoze siphole. Mama ndandikudinga ngoku uSiyabonga wayendi.... Ndathula...Ngoku wayendidlwengule...ndandidinga inxaso yakho...uthando lwakho...ndandidinga undixelele ukuba yonke into izakulunga but instead you gave me a cold shoulder. Ngoku ndithetha yonke lento bendingamjonganga...bendijonge etivini...ndanqwanyaza kaninizi...Yazi I was blaming myself for the way youve been treating me...I told myself that I deserved your treatment kanti akho kwalonto. The one time...one time Mama that I needed you as a mother you werent there for me. Ubungafuni noZolani...a man that I love so much and who makes me so so happy...ubungamfuni...lonto ithi you didnt want to see me happy. What kind of a parent...phofu a mother who doesnt want to see their child happy. Ubufuna ndibuyele ku Siyabonga...the same person that broke me...took away my self worth, pride, dignity, confidence....who abused me Mama physically and emotionally...who raped me! Kodwa wena ubufuna ndibuyele kuye. Yho! Ndathula...iinyembezi bezigcwele emehlweni am...So Ive come to a conclusion...ubungandithandi wena Mama...zange wandithanda. I think you meant it ngoku ubusithi uyandicaphukela...because you wouldnt have done all youve done ukuba ubundithanda nyani andikhathali noba ubunomsindo kangakanani. Mama:Hayi ayo...ayonyani...be...bendikuthanda Azo. Me:Ubundithanda? Mama:Ndiyakuthanda Azo mntanam nyani. Me:Hayi if thats the case then...hayi ulubonisa ngendlela olu funny oluthando lwakho shame. Mama:Ndicela uxolo Azo. Ndamjonga. Me:Uthi wawutheni ke? Wadlala ngetshefu...akandiphendula...Ndilindile Mama. Zolani:Myeke Azola torho. Wahlebeza. Me:Ndimyeke? Ndimyekele ntoni? Zolani:Awuboni wena ukuba ukhathazekile? Ndicela umyeke sthandwa sam...ulicelile uxolo...take it and move on. Me:You make it sound so easy Zolani. Zolani:I know its not easy but try. Me:Hayi uxolo andizukwazi...after all the pain she has caused me Zolani! Yho! Ndajonga uNonceba...Andifuni nto ezo phinda isidibanise mna nawe. Ignore me like you did before and I will also do the same. Ndaphakama ndaphuma eliving room ndaya erumini yam ndavala icango emvakwam. Ndakhupha ifoto ka Cinga kwi diary yam ndakhwela nayo ebhedini ndalala ngecala...ndaqotha iinyawu zam ndacamithisela ifoto ka Cinga esifubeni sam ndacimele... Icango le rum liye lavuleka esidaleni laphinda lavaleka. Khange ndijike ndijonge ukuba ngubani kodwa bendiyazi ukuba ngu Zolani. Maybe he wad disappointed at me for what I said to Nonceba...but ke I needed to say all I said to her and I just cant forgive her...kunzima. Me:Ukuba uze apha uzondithethisa ndicela uphume. Khange athethe uye wahlala phezukwe bhedi. Ndiye ndazincama ndajika ndamjonga...Youre disappointed in me? Washukumisa intloko yakhe. Zolani:Yintoni le ise sandleni? Watsho ethatha ifoto ka Cinga esandleni sam...wayijonga...Nguye lo? Ndanqwala...wathula...Well ubunyanisile uyafana naye. Watsho esidaleni ndancuma ndisula izidlele zam...Umhle. Me:Undiqumbele? Zolani:Hayi Riri andikuqumbelanga. Me:I just cant forgive her baby...its hard.. Zolani:Ndayazi mfazi wam. Ndahlala ngempundu... Me:Maybe in time I will. Zolani:Okay. Me:Ndicela ihug. Wancuma. Zolani:Ungade uyicele. Me:Ndithini ke? Zolani:Yibe mfondini. Ndahleka kancinci. Me:Andilosela mna and besides Im scared of rejection. Zolani:I will never reject you Azola...okay? Ndanqwala...Iza ku papa ke. Ndahleka. Me:Hamba papa. Sagonana isidala sento...sade sayekana...Enkosi baby I needed that. Zolani:Sho. Wandibrusha isilevu...Heee uMamzo ebene style anhe. Watsho ejonge efotweni. Ndancuma. Me:Ndibona lonto nam. Zolani:Hamba nomCingaristo. Ndahleka. Me:Hayi sumbiza njalo uMamam. Zolani:Heee okay sorry ke. Me:Apology accepted. Ndahlika ebhedini ndakhupha ipijama zam ewardrophini. Zolani:Heee uzolala ngoku? Me:Ewe love ndidiniwe maarn. Ndakhulula impahla...ndazisonga ndazibeka phezukwe washing basket. Zolani:Khawutsho zingaphi ezi pen skirt zakho? Watsho esidaleni ndahleka. Me:Pencil skirt baby. Zolani:Oh sorry pencil skirt...kaloku andizazi mna ezizinto. Me:Mmm...zininzi zigcwelise iwardrophu yonke. Ndatsho ndihlala phezukwakhe. Zolani:Zininzi huh? Me:Yes. Ndamphuza...Kutheni awuzithandi? Zolani:Hayi anditsho qa theyre too revealing. Ndahleka ndimphuza. Ndampusha ukuze alale ngomqolo ebhedini and as usual his hands were caressing my bums...Ziveza icurves zam ne ass yam. Ndahleka. Me:Intle nje lonto. Zolani:Hayi intle xa uzivezela mna qa. Me:Hayi subanomona...people shall share. Zolani:Intoni??? Wakhwaza...ndahleka. Me:Ewe people shall share tshini! Zolani:Hehehe uyandiqhela...ndozibulala ezo ntwana ngezandla zam ukuba bangazenza mna kuwe. Ndahleka. Me:Khandiyeke ndinxibe ipijama Mr Nonyuks. Zolani:Ndikhwelwe nguwe ke into ewesi. Ndambetha esifubeni. Me:Sheeee...suzenza ingathi awuyithandi lento yokukhwelwa ndim bhut. Wahleka...wandiphuza. Zolani:Unyanisile...siyayithanda nondoda kakhulu. Me:Mxm awuzithandi izimanga. Ndatsho ndihlika phezukwakhe.. Wahleka. Zolani:Haibo ndenzeni Mrs? Me:Ungenaphi undoda kulento siyithethayo? Ndatsho ndinxiba ipijama. Zolani:Kaloku xa undikhwela ukhwela naye mfondini. Me:Mxm. Wahleka...Khawuthi ndiyothatha unyanam azolala. Ndaphuma erumini ndaya eliving room ndafika uImi engqengqe ecouchini ngomqolo...ebephelile shame umntwanam. noTata ebebukele itivi...andimazi ebephi uNonceba...mhlawumbi use rumini....Iza nana masolala. Ndamfunqula ndimphuza...Yhuu awusa sindi mntanam...uyakhula anhe? Wabeka intloko yam egxalebeni lam...Uzoba na 5 wena lhoza soon soon anhe? Nge 18 ka December...friday. Ndamnyumbhaza esuswini wancuma...Ufuna uMama akwenzele iparty ne? Wanqwala.. Imi:Ubize noQamisa Mama nhe? Me:Ewe mntanam sizombiza. Ndamphuza...Goodnight Tata. Tata:Goodnight Lele mntanam. Ndithe ndizophuma eliving room wandibiza ndajika ndamjonga. Me:Ta? Tata:Dont be hard on your mother mntanam. Me:Mmmm...k. Ndajika ndayongena erumini noImi...ndambeka phezukwe bhedi. Uye wanxityiswa ipijama ngu Zolani. Ndiye ndabuyisela ifoto ka Cinga kwi diary yam ndakhwela ebhedini ndangqengqa ngomqolo...uZolani wathatha inyawu zam wazibeka phezukwakhe...ebedlala nge toes zam...Baby yi birthday ka Imi next week. Zolani:Oh kanene...nge 18 anhe? Ndancuma...it was sweet of him to remember...eyakhe inge 27 ka December ke. Me:Ewe love...uyikhumbule kanti. Zolani:Ewe tshini zothini ungayikhumbuli ibirthday yonyanam...and anyway kunini uQamisa endingxolela ngayo. Ndahleka. Me:Ncooo...uyajiya ke lamntu ngomntwana wakokwabo. Zolani:Yhuu uyamazi. So senza ntoni ke? Me:Hayi kutheni wazifaka? Ndim ozokwenza bhut. Zolani:Heee nam ndifuna ukwenza njena. Me:Hayi suzifaka...I got this...Ive been saving up...just buy a present qa wena. Zolani:Heeee ithini na lento? Okay ke but if you need help Riri undixelele torho...my son must have the best kaloku. Me:Hamba the best...hayi dont worry Ill shout if I need your help which I doubt I will need. Wahleka. Zolani:Hamba Mrs Independent. Me:Injalo. He kissed both of my toes...ndahleka...Sies baby dont do that. Zolani:Why? Me:Hayi sies maarn...isnaaks maarn. Ndatsho ndisinekile. Zolani:Heee hayi kengoku masilale wethu unyana sele esikhokhele. Me:Phakama uyocima isibane ke bhut bendisicimile izolo. Zolani:Hee sithatha iturns na? Me:Ewe kaloku. Wahlika ebhedini...ndangena ezingubeni ecanko Imi...wacima isibane uZolani wazongena ezingubeni salala... Ndavuka ngengomso ekuseni kusalelwe ngabanye...ndiye ndahlamba ubuso namzinyo. Ndaya ekitshini ndafika ndamisa amanzi eketileni...bendifuna ukusela amanzi ashushu...yhuu ndagqibela nini...bekufuneka ndibuyele egymini kaloku uSisi uyatyeba bethuna. Bendisela lo manzi ashushu kwangena uNonceba ekitshini wabulisa nam ndabulisa. Mama:Ashushu la manzi? Ebhekisa kwawa ase ketileni...ndanqwala...Ndicela undiphe ndifuna ukwenzela uTatakho iti. Ndanqwala...Enkosi. Ndiye ndakhupha izinto ze breakfast...Ubuleli njani mntanam? Me:Kakuhle. Mama:Oh hayi kuhle ke. Sathula...waphuma ekitshini ne ti ka Tata ndaqalisa nge breakfast mna...waphinda wabuya esidaleni...Awufuni ncedo Azo mntanam? Me:Ha.a ndiryt. Mama:Usure? Me:Ewe. Mama:Okay ke. Wakhe wama wandijonga ndabe ndi frayisha amaqanda kemnake...Azo. Ndamjonga wathula akathetha ndaqubekeka kemnake ngalento bendiyenza...ndibone ngaye sele ephuma ekutshini ndaqonda undincedile ngoba bendifuna ukwenza ibreakfast in peace. Baye bavuka abantu ndaphaka satya...ndahlamba izitya...uZolani wahlamba uImi...nam ndahlamba...uTata noMama bahlamba bathi basaphumile. Besiserumini noImi...uZolani ebese bathroom ehlamba. Iyeyakhala ifowni yakhe ese bathroom... Zolani:Ngubani lowo? Wakhwaza...ndajonga icaller I.d. Me:Ngu Athi baby. I shouted back. Zolani:Yiphendule umxelele ndise busy. Me:Okay! I picked up... Me:Zolanis phone hello. Athi:Oh hello sisi unjani? Me:Ndiphilile bhut unjani wena? Athi:Ndigrand mna sisi. Uphi lomjita? Me:Uhm use busy okwangoku. Athi:Oh okay. Ndicela uzumxelele ukuba andi touche xa ethe waba unbusy. Ndahleka kancinci. Me:Okay ndizokwenza njalo. Athi:Sho. Me:Bye. Athi:Ungu Azo anhe? Watsho ndisezobeka ifowni phantsi. Me:Ewe ndinguye. Wena ungu Athi. Wahleka. Athi:The one and only. Ndavuya ukuthetha nawe Azo utsho nge lizwi eli sweet ingathi yilekese. Ndahleka...Tshini ayisatsho lomjita ukuba uthetha kamnandi kangaka...into asingxolela ngayo yindlela akuncanywe ngayo. Me:Ngeyona nto efane unixelela yona nje loyo. Athi:Hayi hayi asifuni uva ngesincanyo thina. Ndahleka. Me:Heee ayi wesi kengoku. Athi:Sumenza imofie lomjita Azo tshi! Me:Hayi andimenzi mofie. Athi:Qa? Me:Hayi andimenzi nto. Uye wangena uZolani erumini ebhinqe itowel esinqeni. Athi:Mmmm. Me:Bamba nanku umjita wakho. Ndanika uZolani ifowni... Zolani:Uyintoni kumfazi wam Athi? Ndafika usenza ismall talks...ndakukhaba kwedini... Wahleka uZolani...Thetha ufuna ntoni. Bancokola ke. Ecaleni ifowni yam ibiringa inon-stop...ibingu Siyabonga...I was ignoring his calls. Ude wagqiba ukuthetha efownini uZolani. Me:So uyahamba ngomsomnye? Ndive esitsho ku Athi. Zolani:Ewe Riri bendicinga njalo. Kaloku funeka ndiyothatha uQunube for le party ka boy. Me:Oh okay. Zolani:Awuqumbanga? Me:Nope ndizoqumbela ntoni? Zolani:Ngenxayi ndihamba. Me:Uzophinda ubuye nje baby. Zolani:Mmmm...kissie. Waqutha umlomo ndamphuza...Ngubani lo obefowna shame? Me:Argh! Ayingo Siyabonga. Yhuu hayi undize apha entloko ngoku bendisithi ndohlukene naye. Wahleka. Zolani:Yhuu bendiyazi uzophinda abuye udonkey...kaloku uyayithanda idrama ingathi ngumfazi. Me:Caba thina bafazi senza idrama? Zolani:Ewe yhu. Me:Esheee...siryt. Wahleka. Uye wathambisa wanxiba... Besihleli eliving room sisezohamba ukuya etown...kuye kwatsho iknock emnyango ndaphakama ndisiya emnyango...andothuka xa ndibona kume uSiyabonga noMalume wakhe emnyango...heee hayi bethuna kuyagwetywa.......
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 06:05:18 +0000
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