Chemo Night #2 - I WON! Chemo Morning #3 - Currently Losing! The nausea monster returned last night around eight oclock. We started the anti-nausea regiment, and I snuggled in to watch the Sing-Off. I couldnt wait to hear Home Free (last years winners) back on TV again. I really wanted The Exchange to win, but the judges disappointed me. By the time it was over, I was ready for bed. The nausea wouldnt stop its thing though, so I got to try out my new anti-nausea drug. (Ativan, for all you drug people) Within ten minutes, my stomach quit hurting. This is good because by this point I felt like a limp noodle unable of moving even if I wanted to. The next best thing that happened was sleep in my own bed next to my sweet man! Deep and restful sleep. The world could have exploded, and I wouldnt have noticed. I needed that kind of sleep after the first night. When I woke up, I asked Jonathan what he was doing. I was shocked when he told me he was making sure the kids were up and getting around. I couldnt believe Id actually slept all night long. That hasnt happened since Nov. 20th. God told me He would bring me relief and grant me rest, but Ive also learned Gods timing isnt always my timing. Thankfully, they aligned last night. Unfortunately, morning came in with a violent wave of nausea. I took my primary anti-nausea medicine (Zofran) and drank some water. Jonathan brought me my five pill morning stack of pills. I looked at them and knew once they hit my stomach I was going to lose it all, so I asked him to bring me some Jell-O. It had worked yesterday, but today it didnt taste good. I ate it anyway. Once I felt like the nausea had slowed a bit, I decided Id try one pill and see how it did. Better to waste one than five. These pills dont come cheap! I was smart in doing so too. The rush of clamminess with my mouth watering was all the warning I needed to get out of bed and to the toilet. Addisons Disease adds a whole new element to chemo. When my body tells my brain, Danger! Danger! my adrenal glands will attempt to fire. If my cortisol level is too low, my brain decides to shut all systems down immediately, so I pass out. Passing out is not fun in any way! This morning my cortisol was too low, and I hadnt been able to take my steroids yet to try and balance it. When that violent wave of nausea came getting me out of bed, my brain decides I cant handle this, so its just going to shut down everything it can to protect me. Jonathan stood beside me forcing me to breath, to look at him, to talk to him, and anything else to keep me from going down. It worked, but it didnt keep me from throwing up. Red Jell-O and water is at least easy coming up. For this I can at least be thankful. Jonathan laughed and said at least it looked more like Gatorade than Jell-O, so he thought that might be easier to clean up. I took more anti-nausea medicine and went back to bed. Jonathan cleaned the bathroom. He was also still in the middle of making sure the kids got off to school in time. Being the caregiver is not an easy job. I still havent tried taking my medicine. I havent tried eating anything else. Ive sipped on some water and that was frightening enough. The nausea is still here, but maybe Im done puking for the day. My head is hurting badly. Thats Addisons Disease talking to me. Ive learned that this deep inside my brain headache is really a message to say, Hey, Dummy, your cortisol level is too low. Please help us out. Id love to, but until my stomach stops rolling theres no use in even trying. My hair even hurts today. Ive been warned about that. I know what it means is coming too. Please keep me in your prayers. Having hair thats one inch long has been hard enough to get used to. Being bald might be more than I can handle on my own. My mouth is tender, but so far Ive managed to avoid the ulcers. I know my toothpaste wont work anymore because it burns too bad. Burts Bees chapstick is always close. My friend sent me one called Island. Every time I open it, I dream of being on an island. I love the warm weather, sandy beaches, and the sound of the waves rolling in and out. Too bad cancer cant be cured in a hammock between two palm trees listening to island music mixed with the sound of the ocean. Im hoping my day improves, but right now Im so very thankful I didnt have to try and go to work. Im trusting God has a plan in place for all this wants January comes and I return to my classroom. Today, I dont see how I can teach when I feel like this, but Im giving that one to God to handle. Im hoping my next post will bring better news.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 16:09:26 +0000
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