Children Come to the Rescue- Do I have true compassion and love? Katheryn runs towards God’s loving arms of compassion as her trials and hardships intensify, not away from His love. So many people run from God’s love when hard times or moments strike them. Why? In desperation, they either seek help or respite from other places misunderstanding God’s love and God Himself. Or, they never really knew the God of love in a deep intimate way. Out of all the costumes Katheryn could have chosen for our Church’s Fall Party this past week, she chose to be an Angel. Amazes me how deepened her understanding of God is becoming as she walks such hard and difficult days with her treatment. Her deepening faith is causing our faith to be deepened in ways we never imagined. It is so beautiful! So often people ask of our other children and what the Lord is doing in their little hearts. They are on a journey unlike any that I encountered at their young ages. I am amazed at the depth of spiritual insight that is being poured into them through Jesus because of us walking this cancer road together. Hand in hand, we battle up each and every day, waiting for the unexpected to hit us, and then we fight together. Sometimes it is with tightly knitted unity, and other times it seems as though our unit becomes unraveled with loose ends dangling about in the winds. However, we stand together firm and upon the Truth of God’s Word and upon His love; His compassion which truly holds us together. It is definitely not easy to serve, to relinquish self, to look to others needs, to be more focused on helping others than being helped, but all these are now stronger realizations of what real life is all about in our family! As a family our entire picture and outlook on life has changed and continues to change. The decisions we make on what we do, the choices we decide that lie ahead for us, and the desires that knock on our doors are all coming under a blanket of prayer these days like never before. We are constantly and continually facing trials harder than anything we have possibly imagined enduring while alive. All of us see a little girl in our midst that is facing a life and death pendulum everyday. It is not something easily lived with. Yet…our FAITH and TRUST grows as never before. Our LOVE and COMPASSION are ignited like never before. But the battle of the flesh is more intense than ever before as well. So we find ourselves gripping onto Truth, which is our SWORD- the Word of God, as we go into battle on this earth everyday. We feel the spiritual war like never before, and we talk about it openly as a family realizing our way to victory is claiming the Truth. Ben and I find an urgency to pour the Truth into our children so much so that they become saturated head to toe with more knowledge of God’s purest and strongest weapon which will allow them to show Jesus’ compassion to others in an ever increasing evil world. Jonathan- Age 11 Just tonight I turned to glance and noticed Jonathan sliding over in bed towards Katheryn. He was moving slowly not to jar or rattle her too much, careful to move in as close as he could to give her comfort. We were having a popcorn movie night enjoying awesome rest from the week together in our Master Bedroom. I had to pull off the tightly positioned tape holding Katheryn’s NJ tube from her face. It is a very agonizing process for our sweetie as it pulls against her tender skin leaving redness in its path from the long-term irritation. Jonathan noticed her pain, and as I was pulling it, he was trying desperately using distraction from the movie to turn her attention to another place. Amazing at age 11 that he senses her pain and comes to the rescue. I can remember back to the early days in the hospital when this all began and he would come and snuggle up close to her upon arrival. He has always treated her as a sweet sister who needs love- not a sister who is sick. He would rub her feet and legs that soothed her even when he was unable to speak or move her little arms and hands. He needed no “thank you” or “your awesome bro” from Katheryn to reach to meet her needs. He just operated out of compassion. What a joy to see then and to see it continue now. Just the other night we were all eating dinner and trying to get Katheryn to try Chicken lettuce wraps with the rest of the family at the dinner table. Big step up for her! Upon tasting it, she got this look on her face like she was about to loose the one bite she had taken to the floor. Jonathan looked at her quickly recognizing her solemn face and said, “Katheryn, it’s ok. It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. You can eat something else”. Again, he was rising to her need wanting to ease the pain of this journey from his sister. He cares so deeply! Andrew- Age 3 Little Andrew at even three years old has ministered to his “Sissy”. He routinely goes with us to treatments as Katheryn loves to have him by her side for comfort. He has always since the early days of being in the hospital added a sense of joy that comes with sweet laughter. His bubbly energy is a source of life for all of us. Once at a particular visit, Katheryn was having a severe fear of being poked to give blood for her weekly counts. He saw her tears from a distance, and without me even saying a word, came to her side and closely wiggled his little body so that his face was touching her face. His little hand reached out and gently touched her arm and without saying a word, compassion flowed from his little soul to hers. The vital signs tech helping that day was amazed that one so little had such a depth of love for his sister. I was equally amazed. He continues to be her little sidekick of energy, life, laughter, and is the little spunky stepping brother behind her showing her that she can do this! Kaitlyn- Age 6 Katilyn, almost like Katheryn’s twin, is a giggling source of life for Katheryn. This journey is so rough on her seeing her best friend having to endure so much. Katheryn was so distant for so long after surgery with Kaitlyn that I feared for the reconciliation of their sweet relationship. God is restoring it now stronger than it has ever been. They share a room, and we have had to place a sound monitor in the room so we can help Katheryn through the nights with various physical needs. Quite often, we hear Kaitlyn’s voice piping through the monitor calling us quickly to Katheryn’s aid, or she will run down in the early mornings to tell us how we need to help her sister. When Katheryn struggles with her motor skills, or throws up, or messes up because of her post surgery and tumor related inabilities, little Kaitlyn now just says, “It’s ok Katheryn. Don’t worry. Don’t worry!” AMAZING! How humbling this has been for me to hear coming from a six year old that gets so much less time and attention in our family now because of Katheryn’s growing physical needs. So much revolves around Katheryn- our schedule, what we eat, what we do, where we go, who we meet and hang out with- that so often I see little Kaitlyn looking a bit sad. She wants so badly to feel as special as Katheryn, to the point I think she almost wishes she were the sick one. It is showing us how great the need is for children to be reassured of their acceptance and worth daily. With Kaitlyn we are focused more and more on finding the unique beauties that are so beautifully nestled inside of her that makes her special! It is not what she does…it’s all about WHO she is that makes her beautiful. Christopher- Age 9 Christopher is our little Scripture man. Ben and I have been incredibly blessed by his eagerness and desire to pour himself into learning and studying more of the Bible. He is writing more and more Scripture on any little piece of paper he can find at different times of the day. He is struggling so much with worth and value, yet our Father is taking him to places that Ben and I couldn’t even take him spiritually. This journey with Katheryn is so demanding of Ben and myself, that it leaves less room for meeting the needs of little Christopher. We have prayed for him like never before that our Heavenly Father would meet him in a special way and reveal his worth and importance to him in our absence. A very special moment happened with him in Texas. He was acting a bit out of sorts one day and I took him to a back room and sat beside him on the bed. His face was grim with frowned eyebrows and quivering lips. I asked him gently, “Sweet Christopher, please tell me what is wrong.” He yelled out in reply, “ I hate being here! I hate being in Texas! I want to go home! I want you and Daddy to be home and not gone all the time. I just want my sister to be better. I don’t want her to have cancer or to be sick.” And then he just sobbed and sobbed on me as I sobbed with him in response. Since Texas, and that sweet moment, he has opened up to us like never before. He is so vulnerable with his emotions, his heart, and his little tenderness is being expressed more and more as he finds words to express it. His heart is so tender, and we have seen a huge change in his desire to want to know more about God’s Word. It is quite humbling for me to see his eagerness to read the Bible and to just simply copy the words on paper like he were writing a research report! How precious that the Holy Spirit is leading and directing his steps at such a young age, that he is listening and soaking it up. He blesses his sister weekly with little hand-made creations and gifts wrapped with all kinds of homemade packaging out of his incredible artistic gifts. It is so wonderful to see his creativity poured out upon his sister-his compassion for her increased even though his time with us decreased. As Ben and I feel more and more ill equipped to meet the needs of all five of our children, we are comforted by the Truth that promises us that loving is not up to us! It is up to our Father in Heaven. We just have to be the vessel through which love is excessively and continually poured out. The more we point our children to God who is Love, and His son, Jesus, who is love and life shown to us and given to us, the more we can rest assured knowing they will realize the depth and breadth of true love for them. How beautiful that Jesus constantly saw the needs of people he encountered. I love this passage in Matthew 9 that talks of his undying supply of love and compassion upon those needing the real picture of love-God’s love. Jesus was always about ministering to those whom His Father in Heaven told him to reach toward. “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” There are so many souls in our paths these days that our family has a growing desire to reach with God’s love. We find ourselves woken in the night praying for little ones battling cancer, writing emails in the early mornings to Mommies and Daddies who are gripping on God’s strength to endure while watching their little ones struggle through treatments, and praying for all other children we meet at treatments, therapies and in the hospital. In the hospital, I walk room-to-room seeing numbers and names on white boards, and as I pass each one, my heart just sighs. Upon entering the family lounge there is usually always a family member hurried to prepare a meal, fill a cup of ice, grab a Popsicle out of the endless supplied freezer, or prepare a hot cup of coffee to satisfy a sleepless night. And it is there where stories unfold of more children battling for their little lives. More little ones and families that fill our minds and hearts towards which we offer to heaven in our own prayers as we pray our own way through this often unbearably emotional world. I Peter 3:8 says for all of us to “have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” If there is one thing this journey is doing to myself- it is humbling me beyond the limit I thought possible. I praise the Lord for this…and what this is teaching Ben and I and our children about showing Jesus’ love to others. We are so humbled and overwhelmed by the love that is being poured out upon us. Almost everyone that comes in our presence mentions they are praying for us, and even ones we don’t know say they are reading about Katheryn and praying as well. We are receiving letters, gift packages, food, donations, and more that are overwhelming us with the Father’s love. God’s love is being poured out like a rainstorm from generous loving people- heaven reaching down through souls spreading love not of this world. Like a refreshing mist on a hot summer day are all the ones who have given us life through their lives, love through their kindness, and compassion through their continuous prayers and strength. What a picture of the body of Christ we have seen in living action on this earth. It begs us to pray, discern, question, and to be so in tune to the Holy Spirit’s calling in our lives of whom we should minister and serve in return. The compassion and unity of the body is so exciting. There is such power in the body of Christ. It is so very exciting to know how connected we all are through a bond of Love far greater than any earthly love could imagine or explain. We have all been called into one body under Christ who is the source of our life, and we are to live in peace with one another as said in Colossians. Oh, how amazing when under trials people come together and the body works and functions as it should always work and function in any and all occasions. This journey as made me question the compassion inside myself all the time. Do I have compassion towards others more than concern for myself? Do I really look towards the needs of others, or do I just say that I do? Do I earnestly seek and explore ways I can bless someone’s day instead of being concerned about the busyness of what I need to get done in a day? Am I focused on loving others as Christ loves the church – His body? Full throttle, without reserve and without question, am I concerned with the needs of the body while I have my human body here on this earth. You know what I am realizing about loving others? It takes TIME- a sacrifice of my time, my schedule, my things to do lists, my agenda, my concerns, and my needs. And the more I do give love outside of myself, allowing it to flow through me from the Father to those around me... the more filled and complete I find myself becoming. It is not about me loving, me reaching out, me serving, me helping- it is about Christ in me doing all to others. And I do pray that is all others will ever see of me- Jesus Christ living and breathing! Praise God for you Jesus…in taking me to places of humility that are so painful, yet so rewarding! Thank you for using my children and others to show me what it means to love and to give, just as you showed undying compassion for others while you moved and walked on earth. Give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and the feet of peace to move only when and as You say…Amen.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 13:50:26 +0000
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