Children only have one childhood, let them enjoy it and receive the maximum amount of benefit they can from both parents without the torture and stress of the family courts. And their childhood is confusing enough without the involvement of strangers wanting to probe and poke around in their life and their family life. Life is hard already and divorce sucks, so why make everyones life even more difficult? When you react as soon as your child comes up with any complaint however minor or annoying about the other parent, and you encourage them to blow that complaint out of proportion, or to believe that this makes the other parent a horrible parent or one that shouldnt be allowed to be a parent, you are hurting your child and inviting everyone in the court system to assert their power and control over you and your child. Children complain in life; transitions and changes are difficult. Not just changes that happen in a divorce but also the child goes through many changes; friend changes, teacher changes, belief changes. The child will find some things important one year that change to something else the following year, or month, or day. So the next time before your react to a complaint your child expresses to you make sure you remind yourself how that reaction is going to affect your child. And is the complaint really something that the child shouldnt learn to grow through? So what, if the child doesnt like that the mother raised her voice when the child brought home a bad grade. So what if the father let the child stay up until 11 p.m. when the childs bed time is 9 p.m. Are these things enough to justify inviting strangers in to grill and interrogate your child and make the child feel bad or even turn the child on you because the child felt that the parents should have protected them from these strangers, or worse that they are empowered now to make their own decisions, and you lose power and authority over your child? Think about it next time before you tell your child how horrible it is that the last thing the other parent did was. Remember that the child needs to learn that each parent has different styles and makes different choices, and that it is the other parents choice how they choose to be or to parent, and that should be respected as long as it is within the boundaries of the law. Youll be happier and your child will be happier and youll both be healthier and better off financially and emotionally.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 12:20:00 +0000