Clearing the conservatory out ( Lokis room ) made me so sad, actually that should say sadder, yes its all sparkly and new but would do anything to my have my grey baby back in there, complete with dog hairs and biscuit crumbs ! Only doing it because I feel lost and need to feel a sense of purpose. Not gone back to work as not ready to get back to a so called normal yet, how can life be normal again? Doing everything to stop myself from going to Wales and adopting another desperate dog in need but wont as I know Im not in a rational state of mind to make decisions like that.Just desperately want this void to be filled and I know it never can be :( Been here a few times now and each time you kid yourself that nothing is going to be as bad as that pain you have suffered and then BANG it comes again and actually feels a thousand times worst than the last time.Picking her ashes up tomorrow and I know that will make me feel a lot better. Im saving them all to go with me when Im gone.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 15:04:14 +0000
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