Cognitive dissonance is one of the by products of being gas-lighted by the abusive psycho-spectrum ex/parent. The targeted individuals mind and emotions are literally split in two by confusion and shock from the illusion of love the psycho-spectrum ex weaves around the target which is in direct contrast from the abusive, manipulative and often terrifying behaviour the target is confronted with on a daily basis. The Psycho-spectrum ex will play the aggressive perpetrator and the victim within a blink of an eye and sucker punch your senses, your sense of reality by denying their abuse, even if you are stood there with the evidence in hand or when your body holds the imprinted bruises of their abuse, the psycho-spectrum ex will casually deny any wrong doing and accuse you of insanity. At a push the psycho-spectrum ex when forced out of denial will shift the blame onto you as being the cause of their behaviour which of course disintegrates the targets already waning self worth and esteem into a void of hopelessness, depression and PTSD. This behaviour is a well known psycho-spectrum tactic to serve the purpose of destroying you at your core and to render you subservient to the abuser. Children growing up in such environments are usually adapt at seeing the truth of the situation and will side with the target parent however due to fear of punishment and abuse the childs self esteem erodes at critical developmental milestones, causing great distress, PTSD and depression - in some cases the child will grow up with learnt behaviour and re-enact the abusive parents behaviour, although this can be unlearned with the right counselling and guidance. Its important as protective parents that we do not take for granted the resilience of our children to overcome traumatic events from the psycho-spectrum parent. The best way we can protect them is to educate ourselves about cluster B personality disorders and to then implement change, i.e. leave the situation, contact the correct agencies to help us achieve safety for our children and ourselves, and to follow through with no or minimal contact with the ex. We have to in many cases put ourselves through an emotional boot camp to sever our cognitive dissonance and face the truth. It isnt an easy reality to confront but in the long term, its easier to walk that path then continue living a lie that will have serious consequences upon our childrens (and our own) psyche in the long term. Be brave and find support from others at this time.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 09:35:08 +0000