Colton is resting, he has been getting sedation and paralyze meds thru out the night and morning. He had an xray around 4 a.m. and we are still waiting on the results of it. He also had a blood gas and we are waiting for the results of that as well. Im not sure if they took blood for a panel or not yet this morning, waiting on the doctor to make her rounds and let us know everything and make a plan for today. He is breathing over the ventilator some, which is good, (some good news there). I put some aquaphor on his lips cause they were very dry. I know he liked it, he loves when i put it on his lips, he will usually lick his lips when i do it. I hope it wont be too much longer before i get to see him smile again, or make noises that are good instead of the little noises he makes when he is hurting. It is so hard to explain the feeling my whole body has and my heart has, i have never felt this type of hurt before. And he had spent over 3/4 of his time in hospitals since he was born in October. I am not able to hold him, and it hurts that i can not fix him or do anything to help. I just stand there while others do everything. As a mom my instinct is to help him, cuddle him, love on him, want to fix him, to take care of him, etc. I love both of my boys more than words could ever express... and it literally hurts inside and out not being able to do anything for Colton. He is so extremely strong and i am very proud of him. He has been thru so much in the short 3 months he has been here on earth and i pray this will be the last, then he can get healthy enough and go home with us. I pray God will heal him and make all of this go away. I wish my baby didnt even have to go thru all of this. And i pray so hard that he will pull through this.... Sorry about going on and on... i just dont know what to do with my time here and not being able to do something to help my sweet boy.. Mommy loves you Colton, so much baby boy, hang in there so we can all go home together, i love being your mommy and will always be here, i pray God will let me continue being your mommy for many many many years to come... Please continue prayers for my sweet strong baby! I will update as soon as i know any more information,I thank you all for the prayers and support!
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 14:13:18 +0000
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