Common Relationship Mistakes #1 The first mistake is thinking that we should settle for less than what we want. Some people have low self-esteem. Perhaps they were led to believe, while growing up, that they didn’t deserve the best out of life, including in their relationships. These people are prone to settling for less, as they don’t think they can do better. In reality, we all deserve to pursue the type of relationship we want. It may not be possible in life to have everything we want, but we don’t need to impose our own limitations, before we’ve even started to look for a partner. Our friends don’t help when they encourage us to tolerate a neglectful boyfriend or an unhappy marriage. They project their own fears onto us, assuming that we’re just as anxious about ending up alone and just as desperate to hold onto our partner at any cost. We’re led to believe that we should settle for less by our own and our friends’ low expectations. We — and they — are convinced that we should feel grateful just to have a relationship and not be so greedy as to think that we actually could be happy in it. Of course, the more we settle, the less we get, which only serves to reinforce our belief that better isn’t available to us. But why then is it that some people do get the great boyfriend or the loving, attentive wife? Who are these people who strive for more out of life and obtain happiness and fulfillment? They’re clearly the ones who don’t limit themselves with expectations of less. They feel entitled to have more, or at least to try for more, in their love life. And, because they don’t settle, they’re much more likely to achieve their goals. Settling is a self-fulfilling prophesy. The more we settle, the more we believe that this is our lot in life, so we don’t bother trying to do better. If we recognize that we’re as deserving as the next person, and equally free to pursue what we really want in our relationships, we’ll quickly see that settling for less is a big mistake.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 21:26:24 +0000
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