Communique from Trooper Zoey. Most amused and humored I am to learn the Great Eye Of Eyes has detected a plague ridden, nether worldy, putrid troll spy within our Realm. Brave enough, yet sufficiently bereft of molecules of brain matter to think it was smarter than us and would avoid our superior methods of detection and apprehension. Sounds very similar to the slime trailing mucus bottomed pig that they all adore and refuse to believe is a hateful, vengeful monster who killed with premeditation gnawing at her cold, ruthless and rejected heart, who now must undergo a great Shame and Humiliation Ceremony before she exits her theatrical stage to be caged in her teensy, weensy lonely little cell to be heard from never more. Troops gathered on the 41st day of the 15th month at 0:3200. Departed the City gates over Terrace Of The Elephants through tunnel 9 1/2, followed the Yellow Brick Road to the crossroad of Go This Way No Go That Way where troops stuck wetted fingers to the wind and we took our position from that educated and time proven scientific method of deduction. Following as per your instructions, we mounted tricked out souped up Troller Coaster #5 and headed to our destination beyond the Desert Of Fake Art Sand, further to the Ruins Of Herpes Lip Scabs and continued in a North/South direction until arriving at the cave of Desperate and Lonely. As we disengaged the Coaster, the sun was a glowing, burning orb reminiscent of an enormous glob of blood hanging pregnant in an otherwise bright blue sky. Winds began to blow gaining ever increasing speed and momentum, accompanying them were enormous black clouds which soon blotted out all light from the sun and shrouded the skies with darkness. Thunder and lightening soon followed a cacophony of noise and energy which shook not only the heavens but the very earth upon which we stood. We interpreted these events as an omen, a gift, under darkness and great calamitous noise and confusion, we would begin our invasion. I sent in an advance team to scout and suss out the surrounding area for guard posts, sentries and booby traps. Of course, these vermin, born with a predisposition to stupidity, a result of too much in breeding and nasty assed banjo playing genetics, had taken no precautions, heheheeee, neither did their sperm donors. I digress, back to military operations.....I spread my team out in a rams horn formation as we advanced upon these despicable, worm and socially diseased predators hiding under their fungus caked, maggot ridden rocks. As has been amply documented, they are not the brightest watt light bulbs in the package. They offered no resistance, not a murmur, not a cry, nobody tried to escape because, just like their queen, the immoral, primitive cowards, afraid of the storm that was about to roll right through and over them all had their heads stuck so far into the brackish mud, all we could see was quivering, shaking, puckered up asses sticking in the air. So many parallels to their queen, asses up, cowards, we are the storm they hide from. We, being equal opportunity troll hunters, did not discriminate against any of these confused, unable or unwilling to learn from facts and evidence peons. They who have no ears to hear, no sight to see, blinded by fealty to an evil, lecherous, unrepentant ho from whose herpes diseased and well used lips they yearn to hear, you number 1 boom boom, to them befell the same fate. They did emit slow moans and stifled neeps and other noises, as they sailed the wind downward to their eternal resting place, and now reside forever at the bottom of the cliffs of Honor, the honor was indeed, all ours. We begin our next mission tomorrow on the evening tide, fair winds Commander Tamara Walters.......Communique from Trooper Zoey. When last sortie completed, I bedded my troops down for much needed chow and a full nights sleep. Some found it difficult to settle in as they laughed long and hard into the night remembering the trolls heads buried in the muck with their puckered up assholes exposed for a lightening strike. Those strikes came not only from the skies, but from the troops loyal to the land of Travis, they were swift and they were just. We hastened over the lands of Cyrstal Clear Thoughts and Much Confusion through the bad lands of No Hope and Not Worried until reaching the foot hills of the not so foot hills of Blindness To The Truth hills, which was our destination. I sent a team to reconnoiter the immediate area and meeting no resistance split the team into five man groups each headed down the slimy, steamy, bug infested trails. This was a haunting place, foul, mouldering, ripe with disease and unknowns that I could feel watching our stealthy progress. These trails were plagued with low hanging tree branches from which hung a mucusy green blue substance, the stench of which can only be compared to the foul smelling rotten fish, roaches and rats detritus found in the holes of she who will never leave prison, upon one of her medical examinations. The farther we advanced in the more bizzare and surreal it became. More frequent did there appear Mannequins in all variety of poses and stances, all bore extremely stupid expressions with one tooths sticking out of the head, two nasty old brownish-greenish-yellowish tooths on the bottom, three legs, one foot in the middle, and all the same swollen foot cocoon of parasite filled air with corns and ingrown fish scaled warts. As they were all made in the same likeness, that of Mark-Carr-Tard, we gained more insight into this idiot who refuses to believe facts and testimony, is too dumb, stupid, blind and deaf to recognize evidence for what it is, and is in dire need of re-education, dummy up and get some smarts classes. The weeds and vegetation grew thicker and higher, more and more Mannequins were all around us when troops noticed one of the mannequins make the slightest of moves. I halted the troops for an eagle eyed and hawkish look see through our high optics super magnatized 100 times power binoculars, the same that shoot out nasty trajectories of paralyzing body demobilizers, but saw not a thing. We moved forward a foot or two and troops again reported seeing a mannequin move. I am a patient person but I am not a patient person and not wanting to waste further time and resources I sent a member to investigate. As he approached said mannequin, a figure so ugly, so grossly and hideously deformed, looking so obviously stupid, stumbled and limped into the surrounding flora and fauna in an epic failure at escape. When troops surrounded him, he was snivelling, whimpering, whining about his love for the much maligned and misunderstood troll queen. Indeed, he was both short and tall and as wide as parasites over used and worn out ass hole. He wanted to be her sperm doner and produce, sweet mother of Hades, a genetic freak of nature, an abomination that will not be tolerated or allowed to happen in the land of Travis, oh no, it most certainly will not. We diddy bopped this Mark-Carr-Tards sorry ass, belching farting, pulling at his one fugugly tooth atop his head, scratching at his myriad of itching diseases and scabs, all the way back to the Troller Coaster. Think he was the conductor of a pity party for one and I could not wait to toss his still bawling and blubbering carcass of blind stupidity, and turning a deaf ear to truth and justice, into the caboose and are now returning to the Great City. We will rendezvous with you the 24th hour of the 1st day of the third month at the portal gates of Truth and Justice under the crooked moon of yet to happen, but it did, where I will deliver you this human piece of trashy, m odorous human waste..
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 07:02:49 +0000
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