Congratulations to those who get their A Level results and pass today! Well Done....for those that dont heres the Harjap Bhangal guide to survival and a list of do and donts (as published last year) feel free to add your own suggestions to the list!! Also for those getting their GCSE results next week this list also applies to you so take note: 1) Dont say to your folks give me £50,000 i want to be a Singer / DJ now!! 2) Do buy a spare mobile phone secretly as yours will be taken off you! 3) Dont be planning any summer holidays! 4) Buy yourself a good book as you will be spending a lot of time in your room without your phone and the internet! 5) Buy a sheeshi of tehl on your way home and apply generously after beats. 6) The beats usually last a few hours / weeks depending on the quality of the jhutti being used on you! 7) the nagging and mehnay last a lifetime but is good preparation for marriage! 8) Dont go home and say ok meh facebook te baithan lagga/laggi 9) Dont give examples of other kids who also failed in order to save your own chittar...it wont help!! 10) If you use the waterworks then direct them at mum...shes usually the soft target! 11) Do be prepared to do plenty of housework over the next few months!! 12) Do be extra nice to your brothers and sisters or they will remind your parents constantly ki tussi fail ho gaye si!! 13) Dont say mum, dad tusi vi uneducated aa!...that usually attracts a slap of some sort! 14) Dont say ill pay you back whatever you spent on me...youll end up paying it off for the rest of your life!!...Asian parents have the highest rate of interest!! 15) make sure you have plenty of spare underwear as you will shit yourself after the lecture you will get!! On a serious note if you dont do well dont panic!! its not the be all and end all of life. itll seem it for a while but it isnt. If you feel you didnt give it your best then go for resits. I also failed a few exams here and there and only got a 2:2 at uni but i never gave up (mainly due to fear of beats!!). Just make sure you have given your 100% and then leave the rest to kismat. Regardless of education if God wants you to be successful you will be. However remember that an education will never harm you and in fact will help you. It doesnt hurt to get an education!!...oh yeah and i suggest Baby Oil to apply on the beaten area!!...Vadhiya aa!!..
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 08:22:40 +0000
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