Connecting with your children • Wake up every day and decide on a small thing you can do to show your children that they are your top priority. Send them an SMS, phone them during the day, or help them with something that is important to them. • Set aside at least 10 minutes of one-on-one time with each of your children, where you make eye contact, and give them your undivided attention. • Have at least one meal a day with your children where you all sit down together and chat. Share your day with your children, focusing on positive experiences, and how you overcame negativity during the day. • Consciously listen to what your children are telling you, reflecting back what is important to them without criticising them. Know the names of their friends, teachers, favourite band, book, food and so on. Be excited about their dreams and hopes for the future, even if they are not the dreams you have for them. • Notice what you do and say in front of your youngsters. It may be necessary to change the way you deal with anger for your children to behave differently. • Exchange discipline for discussion. When you are tempted to punish, find ways of discussing what happened and how changes can be made. • Choose to be a “yes” rather than “no” parent. When you are tempted to say no, find a way to say “yes”. Yes, I will take you to the movies this weekend but I can’t take you right now. • Decide to no longer act impulsively by smacking your children when you are angry, placing them in timeout or shouting at them. Remove yourself from the situation and calm down before discussing your feelings with your children. • Play with your children every day. • Teach them about life. Chat when driving in the car about morals and values. Show them how to problem-solve, think creatively, and how perseverance in the face of failure leads to success. • Help your child know who he is by defining the qualities that are his essence. Kind, caring, a good friend, helpful, diligent and so on. • Find ways to calm your home by rushing less, speaking quietly, and making time for relaxation, so your children know home is a safe place they can relax and destress. • Find opportunities to encourage your children to make choices and give their opinion. • Hugging your children daily not only shows them that you love them but releases feel-good hormones protecting them against illness, reducing stress and making them feel secure. - Claire
Posted on: Thu, 23 Jan 2014 07:49:07 +0000
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