Continued from the last posting A brother-in-Christ was troubled so much about the family problems he is having with his family. He kept complaining and lamenting about his prayers and service to the Lord which seem ineffective in his family life. Without getting into the specific issues of his complaints, it was obvious that he is a separate entity from his wife. A sister had also told me that "This is not back then at home. We are in America. I am not going to give up my personality or individuality because I am married. I rather stay single. I make my own money, I can remarry, I can take care of myself and my children." Someone had also told me that she can take care of herself and will take everything he has and he will still have to take care of his children. Another person had also told me that marriage is a business. She had married thrice. The first husband’s support pays for the house, the second one’s pays for the car notes and other bills, and the current one pays for her to remain ageless and beautiful in case she need to remarry again. These are all marriages with children involved in the drama that unfolds in them. Going back to this family’s issues, they have two separate bank accounts which are individually and separately controlled without the spouse knowing anything about their respective accounts. Expenses are made without each other knowing about it. There is no financial planning or rules on how money will be spent. They are married but they were running two separate homes in one. You will think that certain specified or budgeted amount is set aside for each spouse to spend at will. I mean each spouse spends his/her whole income which ever way he/she wants. Money is the root of all evil but without it you cannot enjoy life or get anything done. “A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.” (Ecclesiastes 10:19) What is money to you and what value do you place on it? From idiomatic expression or perspective of the above parable (quote) or even if you take it literally, how can husband and wife who are indifferent; 1. About financial planning, how they spend their resources 2. To being careful about what bill should be paid first and at what time or cycle they should be paid 3. In setting priorities about which expense is appropriate and which one should be deferred 4. In making decision about what the family needs and separating it from what they want 5. To making time or too busy to talk about anything 6. To being respectful and cooperative or too bossy to listen attentively to the other spouse, and 7. To practicing active listening and complete communication and avoid arguments, conflicts, and altercation? How can they possibly be happy, not to talk of bearing the fruits of the spirit? What is the difference between listening or hearing what someone is saying and Active Listening & Complete Communication? What role does it play in marriage? I will discuss this in the future. Finance is a major stressor to the family life. Some people see their spouse as being foolish when it comes to money management. As mental health/behavioral health program designer who has designed several treatment and rehabilitation programs accredited, approved and paid for by the government, I know too well that within the secular world, the role of significant other in our family life is important and urgent in what Dr. Seven Covey, PhD classified as “Habit 3” Put “First Thing First in Principle of Personal Management.” I know too well that the principle has precedent in the scriptures before his secular hypothesis. What I don’t know is how many Christians put “first thing first” in their decision making process about that “first thing” that is “first” in their life. We know today that those who introduced individualism in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s have realized that it failed. It failed not because there is no social good in it but because it destroyed family, community, and society structure, degraded modern civilization, and the cost of maintaining it in our current society is not sustainable by the people. If you want your family life back, it will not hurt to ask yourself, what is that “first thing” that is “first” in your life? “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) God repeated again “This is the written account of Adam’s family line. When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind” when they were created. (Genesis 5:2) Our Lord Jesus Christ said, “ ‘Haven’t you read,” he replied, “’that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’” (Matthew 19:4-6, Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:6-12) In the beginning, it was just the spouses before the blessings which include the children came. That “first thing” is your spouse and he or she should be the “first.” This is a moment of reflection! What have you said or done to someone which has affected their marriage? Do you remember when, where, and how you met your spouse? What kind of relationship did you have before your marriage? Were you equally yoked? Where you of the same spirit and accord? Was there divine truth as I had discussed before according to the scriptures? What kind of sins, promises, utterances, curses, agreements and bondages did you commit yourself to? I say this not to grieve your spirit but to provide a moment of retreat, meditation, remorse, repentance, and forgiveness so that your deliverance will be complete and have immediate manifestation of your faith and belief. It will bring divine healing which will renew your family life and enthrone all the blessings God had promised you from the beginning. If you did everything according to the word of God before your marriage, it provides you a moment of reminiscence of all the wonderful things God did, had been doing, and still do in your life. Through this you renew your hope, faith, belief, body, soul, spirits, and stimulate every ligament, muscles, heart, parts of your love, love of your children, love of your family and love of your neighbors. Lets us pray! God and everlasting father, we knock at your door. Jehovah Jireh, who provides from mount Moriah, we seek your face. Even though You see the heart of all mankind, nothing is hidden before You and there is nothing in this world which will not come to your judgment, You still love us. We your children in one way and another have sinned against you and have deviated from the path you have set for us but you still provide for us. We will not remember all that we have done to you because our memory and knowledge is limited but you remember them all without your wrath upon us. Please Lord, we ask you to watch away our iniquities that we may be whiter than snow for blessed is he whose sins are forgiven and whose transgression are not held against him. El-Shaddai, Jehova Rapha, from Mount Zion you will bring us healing from all the injuries and hurts caused by those you had commanded to love us. Oh Jehova Nissi, you will today bring to us protection from them and from Satan who tempts us away from you. Jehova-Shalom, We ask for your peace and a new beginning in our lives, that we may be whole with you and carry your banner in Jesus name we have found you and in whose name Whatever we ask is granted. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Holy Ghost!! Thank you Father Almighty!!! Amen. To be continued
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 18:59:45 +0000
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