Continuing my essay on retirement - Part 5 What retirement should be ------------------------------------- First and foremost, the bedrock of retirement should be vairagya, an attitude of disinterest in whatever happens in one’s life. Unless you can inculcate this kind of an attitude, the retirement will not be a “true” one – it will only be a change in routine and nothing more than that. The transition may have to be gradual and during the transition phase (vanaprasthashram), you may continue your involvement in the affairs of family/friends/community in a detached manner with a definite effort towards reducing it and ultimately withdrawing completely from it. It may be alright to continue helping your family during this phase (vanaprasthashram) and in rare cases, even later, if the situation so warrants; but it should be done with detachment and only if specifically asked for by the family members. Also, in case you are going to help the family, it is advisable to have a clarity on what exactly the family expects from you and what you can actually do. Focus on self, not in the sense of materialistic selfishness, but a spiritual one. In other words, let the world just be. You turn inwards and contemplate the spiritual question viz. who is behind this Creation and what is the purpose? It is as important to try and seek that knowledge as it was to experience the Creation itself. Towards getting that knowledge, seek a proper guru or at least, start reading scriptures and other spiritual writings along-with regular meditation. Strive towards ridding yourself of the past baggage of good and bad experiences, desires, and negative feelings like envy, greed, hatred, anger, pride, attachment to possessions and loved ones. Empty your mind out so that your remaining life can be completely at the disposal of the Creator. You should tell yourself that you did not create yourself and you do not know who created you and for what. Your Creator must be having some purpose behind creating you. So, whoever created you can do what he wants with your life, at least during the remaining years of your life. If you can develop this outlook, even though you may still find yourself leading an active life as in the past, your way of looking at it will be passive and without passion. Retirement should mean moving away from prapanch (family life) to the extent possible. But this “moving away” must definitely be at the mental level and it may or may not necessarily mean actually going away from home and family. Of course, if you can move away from the family, it helps you to move away mentally too. But if you cannot leave your family for any reasons, you should live with them in a detached manner without wanting things to be one way or the other. At the earliest possible stage, you and your spouse should try and move over to a senior citizens’ colony where you can be independent (away from your family and friends) and among similarly placed people. This will offer a better environment for striving towards your spiritual goal. Such a setting can also be useful when one of the two of you passes away earlier, leaving the other behind. In case you and/or your family do not approve of the idea of you going and living in a senior citizens’ colony, at least make sure that you get as much independence at home and do not have any responsibilities. Tell your family to engage a full-time help at home so that you are not saddled with any onerous responsibilities of the household and grandchildren. Keep your diet to the minimum with the objective of just supporting the energy requirement for the kind of activity you may be doing daily. In other words, never let input be greater than output as far as calories are concerned. Take light and regular exercise, preferably walking twice a day, one hour each time. Make it clear to your family that they need not bother about you and that they are completely free to pursue their own lives as they want. In other words, reduce your emotional involvement in your near and dear ones and in turn, encourage them to reduce their emotional attachment to you. Tell yourself that the body is quite likely to deteriorate and hence maintain a stoic acceptance of that reality. Be ready to bear pain and suffering as far as possible. Prepare yourself for mild and reasonable medical treatment but no extreme measures like surgeries/ hospitalisation etc except when absolutely required to alleviate unbearable pain. In any case, none of the measures should be aimed solely at prolonging life. (So, bypass surgery, for example, is definitely out!) Let life end when it has to. Be ready for the inevitability of death. Let it come anytime – do not be afraid of it. Leave your spouse to the care of the Almighty. Do not feel worried as to how he/she will manage if you die earlier. Share this thinking regularly with your spouse so that he/she is ready for the inevitable. If you remain alone after your spouse’s death, continue with your life as peacefully as you can, telling yourself that your spouse has moved on to something else that the Creator has ordained for him/her. Arrange for your wealth to be donated to a suitable charity after your death.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 04:50:00 +0000
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