Counting my blessings. Quite literally. I have three amazing, gorgeous kids who are smart and adventurous and healthy. I get to raise these 3 awesome people in the same house and backyard where I grew up and my mom grew up. They have EVERY THING they could want or need. Trees to climb, bikes to ride, hoses to drink from, a trampoline to jump on, a pool to swim in, birds to chase, and neighbors to play with. They spend all of their time with a parent, grandparent, or another family member, and barely know what a babysitter is. I have a job that I know I was born to do. It satisfies my love for helping others, my desire to change lives, my fascination with the human body and how it heals itself. I get to work part time and be a full time mommy, not the other way around. Im making twice as much working half as many hours as I used to, with only one year of schooling invested. I also have the privilege to work for and with amazing people and doctors. My job is also like a vacation where I get to sit in a dimly lit room with relaxing music and everyone thanks me for what I do (much different than the mommy gig). My work is never boring, nor unimportant, I love changing the world one massage at a time. I have a great family, who despite the way I may have used and abused them, and not appreciated them in the past have completely rallied to help me get my footing in the worst of times. It hasnt always been easy, but they have rearranged their lives countless times to make my life and the lives of my children as smooth and normal as possible. Speaking of family, I still have two. Despite changing times and tides I still feel their love and support and couldnt be more thankful for my kids having a great second home up north. Then of course there is the family I choose for myself, my world class friends. For a very long time I considered my days of having great friends to be lost in my teens, something I would never get back. This year has left me speechless with the multitude of ways I have been proven wrong. From reuniting with friends lost a decade ago, to brand new friends who treat me as if weve always been a part of each others lives, friends from high school, friends from massage school, friends from churches Ive attended in the past, friends who Ive made because theyve faced heartache like mine, friends who I never thought would speak to me again after the wounds the past had left, old crushes, clients turned friends, and the faithful few who have never left my side. I am unbelievably lucky to have EACH of you in my life. No more are there days or even midnights where I doubt that there is someone out there that I could call for love, support, and encouragement. You are my strength, my laughter, my bright spots, I can only pray I send a fraction of the sunlight you send my way back to you. To the one who makes my heart beat fast, my Jesus, my savior. You never doubted me, even when I couldnt stop doubting you. You are so gentle, and kind and patient. You never looked on me with disappointment no matter the multitude of my mistakes, and never doubted for a moment that my heart would return to yours. You truly collected all of my tears in a bottle, not one of them went unnoticed or uncounted by you. You have wept with me and sang over me night and day. You allowed me freedom to learn from my most painful mistakes, and yet helped me treat all of my self inflicted wounds. I have never felt closer to you, nor farther from you than I have this year, but I can take great comfort knowing that you never moved from my side. Ever so gently you have opened my mind and heart to experience you in ways and in places I never thought I would, from the solace I find in mass, to the splendor I find in a sunset, you are magnificent and beautiful and breathtaking. I could live my whole life without another kiss, and have all the love I could ever desire. Lastly, I want to count the blessing of my life. Something Im learning to be thankful for. Much more than the breath in my lungs, I am learning to love myself. To be more than ok with the quirky girl I feel I am. My dark hair thats beginning to streak with silver, my dark eyes that light with love and pour with tears, from my big Italian nose, to my stubby little toes. My mind that NEVER stops racing, my heart that never stops dreaming, my soul that most consider too deep, my horrid handwriting filling journals, my hands that bring healing to others, my extra curvy body that housed three perfect human beings. Yes, Im learning to love her, to treat her with respect, and to keep on counting her multitude of blessings. Love
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 00:28:06 +0000
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