Couple things, gonna try to work all day I guess... I figured out that if you keep yourself busy all day and push aside those feelings of grief you end up making yourself sick, and after everyone is in bed you end up having it all come out, in one big blubbering mess of sadness, I miss her so much. I miss everything she will miss, I miss every Christmas that hasnt even happened yet because she wont be there with my other kids, its not just about grieving her its about grieving all she will miss out on this life has to offer... 18 years is too young to die. Cut short by the sharp knife of a short life Kids dont die before their parents... Its not natural, its not right, its a pain like nothing else and no one will understand until it happens to them. Which I hope it doesnt. And if this grief makes me weak so be it, I am weak. A weak pathetic mess who continues to work and do all the things she did before only with a very very sad heart. I am NOT ok and I will never be ok with this. I will never get over it because this is MY CHILD. So if you dont like it, theres an unfriend button, pls use it. If you find me annoying because I cant just move on and be happy every minute of every day then go! I am happy, happy I have my boys and happy that Dj makes me laugh! I can still smile and laugh through the pain! I can still work every day - sometimes 16 hour days through all of this, I can still shop at the mall, ok when I have $ which isnt much lately, which we are not used to, but we will recover, I can still breath and take care of my kids! But it pisses me off when people judge me. You are not in my shoes, so shut it. Dont judge me, and dont assume you know what I am going through, best count your lucky stars this isnt you that had a child that lost a child, then you lost a child, be grateful and shut your big fat trap. Go about your happy life and leave me alone unless you want to help, you are not needed! Pretty much all I have to say about that... (No this has nothing to do with school lunch debate us girls were having lol)
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 17:42:03 +0000
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