Courtesy of Jen Page, here are eleven things you may or may not know about me (because heaven knows my life is beyond fascinating and you care immensely). 1. Shopping is probably one of my least favorite activities. On my Things I Hate Doing list, it falls right after “having to change the cat’s litter box after a particularly busy night at work and right before having to go outside twenty minutes early on a pitch-black winter morning to defrost the damn car.” 2. When I was eight or nine, a bully stole my little brothers stuffed giraffe from him. When I confronted him, he laughed, made fun of both of us, and threatened to rip the giraffes head off while jeering, whatcha gonna do about it? I punched him in the face. 3. I forced myself to stubbornly believe in Santa even after my mom sat me down and told me he wasn’t real. When I finally accepted it (which took several days), I sobbed for three hours dramatically repeating, “everything I know is a lie. I was thirteen. 4. Sometimes Ill go out of my way watch those corny Discovery Channel shows about tracking Bigfoot (or aliens, paranormal things, the Loch Ness Monster, etc.). If anyone walks in while Im watching, I usually dismiss it like, psh, this is so stupid. Isnt it so stupid? SO stupid. Psh. Stupid. In reality, I usually cant sleep the night after because the sound of the heater clicking on is *clearly* a demon. 5. I can find sentimental value in anything. Anything. I’ll find an old Wegmans receipt in my purse, take one look at it and be like, “oh my goodness, I can’t throw this out! It says here I bought 1.5 pounds of apples… 1/5 is January 5th, which is exactly two months before the anniversary of my second date with Jean-Luc.” It makes keeping my room uncluttered horrendously difficult. 6. One of the fingers on my right hand is bent at a slightly different angle than the other fingers. I like to pretend I broke it in some epic fashion, maybe wrestling a wolverine or bear (or maybe even punching a kid in the face). In truth, I went to Old Home Days with my dad one year and he accidentally slammed it in a Port-o-Potty door. We went to the medical stand and they couldn’t stop laughing. 7. I absolutely ADORE rollercoasters. When I’m on them, I’ll throw my hands up, laugh, scream, and generally be the happiest, most carefree Kimmy you’ll ever see. In contrast, I find Ferris Wheels absolutely terrifying, and if you manage to convince me to get on one, I’ll probably be hanging onto you trembling the entire time. 8. I didn’t go to my Senior Prom. This wasn’t because I didn’t have a date, but because my boyfriend and I both agreed that we hated social gatherings, spending money wasn’t fun, and that we’d much rather spend the night in my living room with the PS3 playing Skyrim. Which we did. (While the rest of our class danced, we forged maces, shot giants with ebony arrows, and slayed Draugr Death Lords.) 9. I held a human heart once. In high school, I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to go to a cadaver lab. When we got there, there was an opened-up dead guy spread out on a table. As the guy dissecting him pulled out the heart, he asked (probably jokingly, considering he was speaking to a group of squeamish-looking girls) if anyone wanted to hold it. The look on his face when he saw my hand go up was priceless. Coincidentally, it was Valentine’s Day. I held a man’s heart on Valentine’s Day. 10. I’m a procrastinator, but I’ll never miss a deadline. According to teachers Ive had in the past, I have a knack for “eloquent, well-worded essays that show what weeks of hard work can accomplish.” That said, I can’t name one time I didn’t finish an assignment the night before it was due. (Dont follow my example, kids; results may vary.) 11. I’m secretly 80 years old. I’d be content spending my entire day on my porch with my cat reading, sipping tea, and watching birds. I can’t keep up with modern day technology (so I stopped trying), social interaction exhausts me, and I’d be perfectly content with going to sleep at eight o’clock every night. Also, I have no idea whats in and whats not, teenagers scare me (despite technically being one), and I think Cream of Wheat is delicious. If you actually took the time to read all of this, wow, Im *genuinely* impressed; seriously, congratulations on having an incredible intention span. Per protocol, if you like or comment on this, Ill give you a number. Then you, too, can share random facts about yourself with people on the Internet!
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 00:31:08 +0000
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