Courtesy of a story by MIchele A Jones-Vargas on the facebook page Hags for Nags: Ok Hags, Here is my daily funny to make those who need a smile and get a good giggle! So by popular demand, here is the story of the great vacuum fiasco of 2011. My current boyfriend at the time, I will call him Bill because I like that name, was a heavy drinker. He was pretty harmless most of the time, but he would come home at 2, 3 in the morning pretty sloshed. That was not a good thing for me, as I had to be at work at 5 a.m. So I decided it was time to put Bills drinking escapades to a stop. Now in true pi$$ed off woman fashion, I thought I would set up a little obstacle course for him to come home to. Now considering I was going to get woken up anyway, I thought well at least I can get a good laugh out of this! So as he came in the front door, he met some of those big rubber tote lids, laying flat, full of water. He stepped on the edge, and the lid sprung up and soaked him! Obstacle 2 was the three empty laundry baskets, sporadically placed empty in the hallway. It didnt take him long to find all three, and flatten one. Which, by the way, was one of the heavy duty ones, so he took it out pretty good. The third and final obstacle, and the best obstacle, was my hoover bagless vacuum cleaner, with unwound cord, strategically plugged in for optimum mayhem. Not only did he trip over the cord, but he landed on the hoover, causing a mushroom shaped cloud of dust, dirt, and dog hair to rise around him like an atom bomb. I hear him say OMG, I BLEW MYSELF UP! By this time Im laughing soo hard Im crying. I found Bill the next morning rolled up in the bathmat on the bathroom floor, covered in god-knows-what came out of the vacuum. I put on the best show ever, I started crying (after I picked up the laundry baskets and lids) and said omg you broke my FAVORITE (not) vacuum! He woke up, couldnt apologize enough, and went and bought me a brand new dyson. And that my fellow hags, is how to get even with a drunk AND get a new vacuum!!!!
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 03:38:48 +0000
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