Courting according to Islam ... Please understand the following principles as many people take them lightly and make many mistakes. Please read this brief explanation of each section but if more information is needed please research the topic further. Proposing or Approaching First step is to propose to the family or the sister directly. In Arabic the word for this is “khitbah”, known to us as courting. There are several steps to accomplishing this task according to Islamic teachings. a. Propose yourself directly to the Sister b. Propose yourself directly to the Sisters family or representative (wali/guardian etc) c. Propose through a friend or family to the Sister or her representatives An acceptance verbally of “khitbah” is considered to be an engagement and a mutual pledge for marriage. It is not legally binding but breaking it without valid grounds is considered immoral and dishonest. Types of Courting that are impermissible a. Courting a Married Woman is completely prohibited. This is also the case for women who are divorced but are still in their iddah (waiting period). This applies to women who have not been divorced for the third time yet as the husband has to the right to take his wife back during the period of iddah or for the couple to reconcile in this time period if possible. There is a hadith reported by Abu Hurairah that Prophet SAW said; “He is not one of us who turns a woman against her husband or a slave against his master.” (Recorded by Abu Dawud, Ahmad and Others) b. Courting a woman who is already being courted is not permissible. A person should wait until there is a clear sign of acceptance or rejection from the family of the sister. Abu Hurairah reported the Messenger of Allah SAW said; “Let not any of you propose to a woman to whom his brother is proposing. (He should wait) until he marries or quits.” (Recorded by An Nisai) One issue that can come up is that at this time it is very difficult to know if a woman is being courted or not, but if you have any knowledge of it then avoid it as this practice is clearly impermissible. The rest is with Allah and if you do so without knowledge or by mistake then Allah is indeed most merciful and forgiving. c. A man with four wives may not court another woman unless he has divorced a wife or some of his wives. d. A man cannot court a sister of a currently married wife or an aunt of a current wife. It is also not permissible to court a woman and her sister or aunt at the same time. e. A man who divorces his wife three times cannot court his wife unless she has been married to someone else and he has willfully divorced her after they have consummated the marriage. Then he is allowed to court his wife after the iddah of her new marriage and she may accept or reject as she chooses. f. A woman whose husband dies and she is in her iddah cannot be approached directly but subtle hints can be given regarding interest through a third party (indirectly). Direct proposals can be given upon the end of the iddah of the woman. Click below to read more ..
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 03:23:35 +0000
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