Cricket Varisty 2014 - IC 2s vs ICSM 2s, Regents Park On a day in which the weather Gods finally answered Arvind Rajagopalans nightly prayers and granted us a day of fun in the sun, 2s skipper Samuel Mead led ICUCC onto the pitch for our first ever Varsity match against the Medics 2s at Regents park. Based on some sneaky insider information sent to him the night before by Arvind, Sam elected to field first. After an inspiring pre-match pep talk by Huzaifah Butt on the bus about snails and streets, Imperial was chomping at the bit, ready to sink our teeth into the star-studded Medics batting line up featuring two of their 1st XI batsmen, the opener being the 1st XI captain, the mighty Mrigank Sinha. Nick Young was right on the money from ball one, keeping Mrigank firmly on the back foot by making good use of the bouncy astroturf wicket. Having ignored Arvinds wise advice to warm up (in order to spend more quality time with his girlfriend), Sam Mead at the other end proceeded to bowl the worst opening spell in recent history. Thankfully, it turned out Sam Mead had also led us out onto the wrong pitch (a U15 pitch), and therefore very *graciously* offered to restart the match, since the Medics were concerned that they had only scored one boundary off the opening 5 overs. Having restarted the match on, surprise surprise, another astroturf wicket, Sam finally decided to pack his leg side field and bowl, which turned out to be a masterstroke since he was intent on bowling Big G Bodyline, only a little slower and less threatening. Soon a mini battle ensued between Mrigank and Arvind at point, putting on a virtuoso fielding performance by stopping nearly every one of Mriganks shots through that region without even using his hands. Sam, finally realising the plan, brought in the dangerous Mak Gill and set the straight fielders deep. With the point-cover region taken out of the equation by Arvinds massive behind and Nicks excellent long barrier, Mrigank had no choice but to loft one straight, which was calmly collected at long on by Arjun Jayaswal. With Mak having removed one of the two specialist batsmen in the Medic line up, IC upped the ante to try and roll the Medics over for a sub-par score. More tidy bowling by Mak delivered him the scalp of the second opener, who had the distinction of being clean bowled twice in the same day. Mak finished with solid figures of 2-16, removing the set batsmen. From the other end, Arvind was unlucky not to pick up a wicket with his eclectic mix of leggies, googlies and sliders, seeing as Huzaifah behind the stumps had not quite gotten his act together yet, missing a few tough stumping chances. Former IC 2s stalwart Yash Verma somehow managed to survive a monstrous over from Arvind, which ended up going for just 1. Having decided the game was meandering along for far too long, Sam made another masterstroke by bringing on team mascot Hemant Habib Habibu Morjaria, the man with the golden arm of late, who instantly brought Huzaifah back into the game with 2 stumpings in 2 balls, one of them being the dangerous Jai Patel. Upon further inquiry, Hemant admitted that having known that Jai was carrying around 5 kilos of revision weight, his plan was to make him stretch as far forward as possible and let gravity do the rest. From the other end, Big Ben Stockton proved that sometimes height is all you need, giving the Medic batsmen some sweet chin music off a 5 step run-up. Soon-to-be-IC-Secretary Aseem Sharma (aka traitor) was the beneficiary of most of this hostility. Thankfully for him, Big Ben didnt quite hear Arvinds calls for a beamer to the face. Hemant managed to prise out two more Medic batsmen (with a third stumping for Huzaifah), but was denied a five-for by Sam, who had another weapon he intended to reveal right at the death. With Bens wicket finally getting IC into the tail, Sam decided to unleash our secret weapon, specialist death bowler and self-professed stormtrooper, Luke Gardner. After a week of claiming to be 15mph faster thanks to the tutelage of the Dark Lord Jayanth Ganapathy himself, Luke proceeded to prove just how quick he had become, sacrificing line, length and the pitch for pure, brutal pace. Having made up his mind that 90 was too low a score for our batsmen to chase he proceeded to give up 20 runs before some timely words from Arvind about actually pitching the ball resulted in his maiden wicket for IC, a fact which was not lost on anyone when Luke went for an ecstatic gambol around the pitch (I use the term around the pitch loosely; in fact he covered about 10 feet before breathlessness got the better of him). Arvind finally contributed to the wickets column, running out the Medics 2s captain, setting IC a tricky target of the nelson, 111, in 20 overs. With darkness threatening to bring an early end to the days play, Imperial openers Hemant and Big Sam Dethridge proceeded to cut into the Medics bowling, which surprisingly did not feature Yash Verma at the top. The first 10 overs were negotiated quite comfortably, with the only real highlight being an all-round display of appalling cricket; Hemant lofted a dolly of a catch before 3 Medic fielders converging under the ball each made the selfless decision to let the others have it, resulting in a predictable drop, while Sam at the other end, absolutely dumfounded by the spectacle unfolding before his very eyes, refused Hemant a regulation single. Despite the early hiccup, Hemant continued in his fine vein of form, cutting and driving with aplomb on his way to 17 before falling caught-and-bowled to Medics legspinner Samad Wahid. In walked Arjun Jayaswal, signalling his murderous intent early by arriving without a helmet. One healthy full toss and he had opened his account with a massive Transferwise Maximum over cow corner. He provided able support for Sam at the other end, who was battling more inner demons than any demons on the pitch, trying his level best to curb his natural instincts and play a secure, watchful innings to guide the chase, which included the occasional waft outside off-stump just to let the bowlers think they were in the game. It seemed the Medics took the philosophy of caring for your fellow man quite literally, refusing to bowl at the stumps for fear of causing injury, resulting in a very charitable dose of extras and cutting down our target by a good third. Channelling the mysterious precognitive powers of the Force bequeathed to him by the Dark Lord, Luke Skywalker Gardner very astutely predicted that the Medic bowlers would manage a better run-rate than their batsmen did, as turned out to be the case. Arjun eventually fell to Medics skipper Jonny Wise for a quickfire 18 off six balls, killing what little hopes the medics had left. Some confusion ensued in the middle, with the Medics changing their keeper from Jai to Mrigank so that Jai could get some exercise in the field. Fahad Ali, the Medic with a mouth was not shy with his atrocious sledging, but even his own team could not take someone playing in a white tank top and black trousers seriously. As for us, we were wondering when PB had started playing for the Medics (yes, the sledging was of THAT quality). With Huzaifah walking in at no. 4, Sam entrenched at that other end and only 9 runs left to knock off, the only real problem left for IC was that Huzaifah did not have enough runs left to get to leave contented (actually, Huzaifah was the only one who considered it a problem, the rest of us realised it was a blessing). With the last ball of an excellent Yash Verma (who really should have been brought on earlier) over to face, Huzaifah unfortunately could not build on a good day behind the stumps, playing all around an in-dipper, leaving for a golden duck to the plumbest of plumb LBWs. He was later quoted as saying I was so eager for a single to keep strike that I missed the ball. Nervous thoughts began to creep into the IC minds as skipper Sam Mead, owner of the greatest leave in cricket history, made the slow walk to the non-strikers end. Thankfully, Big Sam Dethridge realised the danger of leaving any runs for the skipper, and promptly clubbed two boundaries to finish off the game, giving IC a resounding win by 7 wickets, carrying his bat for 45. A hilarious twitter battle ensued, with the Medics 2s announcing to the world that they had lost to our first XI. Thankfully, Luke was on hand to inform them that at least we hadnt brought our first XI skipper for insurance. The Medics slyly countered that he was playing as a specialist fielder, which confused Luke who admitted that he thought all eleven of them were playing as specialist fielders. Summary: Medics: 2s 110 all out IC 2s: 111 for 3 Bowling figures: Mak Gill: 2-16 Hemant Habib Habibu Morjaria: 4-20 Batting figures: Sam Dethridge: 45 n.o. Arjun Jayaswal: 18 Hemant Habib Habibu Morjaria: 17 Transferwise MOTM: Tie between Hemant for his all-round heroics and Sam Dethridge for seeing the chase home Transferwise quotes of the day: If you understand the snails, you understand the streets. - Huzaifah Butt Habib habib habibu! - Hemant Morjaria If at first you dont succeed, try and try again. - Arvind to Mrigank Transferwise fielding effort of the day: Arvind cutting off a certain boundary at point with his backside The Luke Skywalker Gardner fair-play award: Sam Mead for offering to restart the match The Jayanth Dark Lord Ganapathy is-watching-you award for traitor of the day: Aseem Sharma As this is my final match for this season, and hence final report for this season, I want to wish everyone all the best for the remaining matches. As for reports, I shall sink into the relative ignominy of retirement, and gratefully hand over the reins to young Zain Rizvi. May the Force be with you.
Posted on: Sat, 07 Jun 2014 18:26:57 +0000
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