DAFT DEFINITIONS AND ZANY SENTENCES “Grading test papers is a bore!” This I say, from my long experience as a teacher. And the boredom would inevitably make me drowsy. But I had to finish the task, boring though it is, for it is my proverbial bread and butter which, for most teachers, is not enough to buy even an inch of butter. Hence, to keep me from falling asleep, I would instinctively and absentmindedly reach out for my plain coffee and draw it to my lips causing them to be sometimes scalded, and for me, for quite a number of times, to be nearly blinded by the handle of the teaspoon inadvertently left inside the cup. However, in the midst of all these near-mishaps and this tedium that is enough to make my remaining real teeth fall off, real guffaw-inducing gems would, from time to time unexpectedly surface causing me to burst out in loud and roaring laughter. Do consider a few of these collected answers from a vocabulary test, the instruction of which was: “Define the following words and write sentences using them.” 1. demonstrate. “The blood that comes every month.” “When I was twelve, I began to demonstrate.” [This is the answer of the class president.] 2. civilized. “It is the synonym of married.” “They went to the judge to be civilized.” 3. pedigree. “It is a kind of degree.” “If you want to work in a beauty salon, you have to get a pedigree.” [Definitely, to do a good pedicure.] 4. mansions. “A synonym of the word ‘says.’” One man who visits my sister always mansions their big house.” 5. astute. “It is a kind of food coloring.” “We use astute when cooking bean or rice noodles.” [By the way, this is the answer of one Homemaking student.] 6. tentacles. [From a smart aleck student.] “The two I have between my legs.” “When it is very cold, my tentacles become very small.” 7. substitute. “A woman who accepts money.” “I heard my mother and father fighting because when she was away for one month to visit my sick grandmother, my father went to a substitute.” 8. twilight. “A small room near the sea outside the house. There is a small wooden bridge to it.” “During the typhoon, I couldn’t go back to our house from the twilight because the bridge was blown away.” [This typhoon is definitely not Yolanda.] 9. bisector. “Bisector is . . . .” [Unfinished because of the time limit.] “You are the perpendicular bisector to my heart.” [Perhaps quoted from the love letter she received.] 10. remiss. “Means to become single again.” “When her husband left her, she became remiss.” 11. ambulate. “Is a late ambulance.” “I am waiting for the ambulate.” 12. expel. “It is a wrong spelling.” “If you expel a word, the teacher will mark it with a big X.” 13. remorse. “To send again the code.” “If you don’t master the Morse code you will always remorse. 14. impregnable. “Means cannot be pregnant.” “Until now, they have no baby because his wife is impregnable.” 15. buffeted. “It means to push suddenly.” “No food was left after the hungry guests buffeted the table.” [This happens during fiestas.] 16. decomposed. “To stop to compose.” “When Shakes [This student must be in a hurry or did not know how to spell the name completely.] was alive, he composed poems. When he died, he decomposed.” Wait! Before drinking your coffee, remove the teaspoon from the cup!
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 08:46:15 +0000