“DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL” Rembert Truluck. Update for January 15, 2004 Thank you for passing this on to others. (This update is longer than usual. You may want to print it to read more easily and to make a copy to send to a friend. It has also been added to my web site.) ST. JOHN OF THE CROSS St. John of the Cross wrote “The Dark Night of the Soul.” Find a copy and read it. (See link below.) We all have experienced it. You may be going through a “dark night of the soul” as you read this. Know that you are not alone. A lot of other people are going through the same things that put you down and depress you. Jesus experienced a “dark night of the soul” in the Garden of Gethsemane. Read the Gospel accounts of this in the Four Gospels. (See links below.) When I was on a trip to Palestine led by Dr. William Morton in 1958, Dr. Henry Turlington was a member of our group. When we shared our experiences that were most meaningful to us, Dr. Henry told of his experience of visiting the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives by himself after the group had been there the day before. Earlier in Damascus, Dr. Turlington had received a message along with Dr. Morton that they both had been fired as Professors at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in their absence. Henry said that as he sat beside the stone that marked the spot that tradition said Jesus fell on his face to pray the Gethsemane prayer, he wondered why the edges of the stone were stained brown just inside the little iron fence that surrounded it. Then he saw a pilgrim come and kneel beside the stone and lean over and kiss the stone where Jesus prayed: “Thy will be done” and then was arrested, tried, tortured, crucified and died. Then Henry realized that the stains had been left by multitudes of kisses by visitors to the site. This was a very emotional experience for Henry and for all of us who listened to him share with us. Thirteen professors at the seminary had been fired for defying the President and demanding his ouster. One of the thirteen decided to stay and continue to teach at the seminary. This was Dr. J. J. Owens, professor of Old Testament and Hebrew. The next year as I began my graduate work, I was student assistant to Dr. Owens and graded papers and taught his courses in Biblical Hebrew when he was away. Dr. Owens was going through his own “dark night of the soul” and I learned a lot from him as a teacher and as a dedicated servant of God. Dr. Duke McCall, President of the Seminary, was also a friend of mine and was going through his own “dark night of the soul” in all of this! My seminary education included a lot of “dark night of the soul” and also a lot of learning from people whom I respected and love and still thank God that I was allowed to sit at their feet and learn from them in their own times of pain and travail. The seminary was never the same again after these events. Now the seminary has taken a turn into fundamentalism and intentional biblical ignorance that is truly dismal and self-defeating. The “dark night of the soul” takes many forms and is experienced personally by many different people in different ways. Have you or are you now experiencing a “dark night of the soul”? WHY NOT KILL YOURSELF? When I was leading the small group study and dialogue in my home every Wednesday night when I was pastor of MCC Nashville, we discussed the issue of GLBT suicide. I asked how many of you have contemplated or attempted suicide. Most of the 35 people present said that they had either planned or actually attempted suicide. We were supportive and loving to each other as we listened to each person share their stories. The Rev. Troy Perry, founder of MCC, attempted to kill himself after his lover broke up with him. His landlady found him and got him to the hospital in time, and the result was a fresh new experience with God for Troy and a clear call to start a church for Gay and Lesbian people. MCC exists today as an outgrowth from Troy Perry’s “dark night of the soul”! Troy Perry has reminded me that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and is also a big mistake because you do not know what is just around the corner that will change everything for you! I thank God for Troy Perry, for his leadership of UFMCC and for his personal friendship. His own “dark night of the soul” has led to great glorious benefit for all GLBT people around the world. Don’t despise or reject whatever is happening to you as a mistake. God has a purpose in whatever you are going through now. You are learning and growing. Pay attention to the Spirit of God, who is your Teacher. You are learning what you need to know. Listen. Learn. Grow. Move on. VIKTOR FRANKL Viktor Frankl in a landmark book on “Man’s Search for Meaning” (originally called “From Concentration Camp to Existentialism,”) described his own “dark night of the soul” as a medical doctor in several Nazi concentration camps, where, because he was a doctor, he was allowed to live. Frankl began a school of psychiatry call “Logo therapy” (“meaning therapy”) based on his experiences in the camps, where he recorded his experiences in a journal. He noted that some people reacted to the concentration camps like saints and others reacted like swine! Why? Frankl concluded that the difference depended on whether the individual had a clear purpose or a sense of meaning in life. Often this clear purpose in life was based on someone that the individual loved, even if the person was dead. You need to read “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. And you also need to find and read a copy of “The Dark Night of the Soul”. (See Internet links below.) READ, LEARN AND GROW Viktor Frankl developed a technique of helping people deal with their own “dark night of the soul” by asking them why they had not killed themselves. The answer was then used to help rebuild a sense of purpose and meaning for the life of the individual. All of this has been personally helpful to me, though not quite enough. I could sill use a lot more help dealing with my own “dark night of the soul.” How about you? I decided a long time ago not to kill myself because I could not do that to my son, Russell, or to my daughters, Susan and Deborah. I also want to live so that I can continue and finish the work that God has called me to do. Why have you not killed yourself? DEPRESSION AND DESPAIR The darkness and despair will fade and light and hope will return. You do not have to remain in “the dark night of the soul” for ever! Read Philippians 4 for some really practical help in dealing with anxiety and fear: especially Philippians 4:6-7. I long ago memorized this and often recite it to myself in the middle of the night and any time when I am afraid and anxious. (See link below.) Depression is “anger turned inward” and can be best understood and controlled when you face and deal with your own anger. See all of my web site and book material on Step 4. My good friend David Kelly is the person who convinced me that dealing with Anger should be one of the 12 steps to recovery from Bible and religious abuse. He was right; for he had experienced these issues himself and had helped many others deal with anger and despair in his frequent role as a GLBT counselor in Gay Centers and HIV Clinics in Atlanta and Los Angeles. (See below my material on this in my web site and book on Anger, Depression and Despair in Step 4.) OUT OF THE DEPTHS Depression is both the most common and the most treatable of psychiatric problems and illnesses. My friend Psychiatrist Professor Dr. Corbett Thigpen, M.D. is the world’s authority on the diagnosis and treatment of depression. He is co-author of “The Three Faces of Eve” and the psychiatrist who helped me to accept myself as a gay man many years ago. Dr. Thigpen also treated my ex-wife and several members of my church in Greenwood, S.C. (See my link on “Psychiatry and Medicine” below.) Depression is the most prevalent disabling and debilitating psychological condition that threatens us. Every day we are exposed to various dimensions of “the dark night of the soul”. How do you handle depression? How do you deal with sadness and despair on a daily basis? Maybe you never have to deal with these issues, but I do. I have learned to cry a lot in recent months because of a situation that I am trying to face and handle. Not very successfully so far, I have to admit. I probably should not tell you these kinds of things about myself. But I am no different from you! Whatever you are trying to overcome and trying to handle is common to all of us. To me and to a lot of other people you know who just do not try to tell you about what is really happening to them. Believe me, my friend; we are all in this sinking boat together! You are not alone. You have a lot of despairing company. How can we help each other? (See link below to “Stand By Me”) LISTENING You can listen without judgmental condemning attitudes and statements. You can show that you really care by simply being there when a friend needs you. You can listen and pay attention when your friend or partner needs to pour out a heart of pain and hurt that you might not have known was there. Be available. Stand by your man – or woman! Just being there can be of great support and encouragement more than you realize. People who have listened to me and showed that they really care about me have helped me far more than people who have come up with lots of advice and suggestions about how I should behave and how I ought to handle things! What has most helped you when you were going through a “dark night of the soul”? How can you do the same for someone else? DARK NIGHT EDUCATION Your “dark night of the soul” can be God’s way of equipping you for ministry to others. Learn everything you can from your own experiences. Your “walk through the valley” is part of your education for your mission to “stand beside others” and encourage them in their pain and despair. Write down every detail of your own dark night experiences. Keep a daily journal of your life. Use what you are learning to gain a better understanding of who you are and to develop compassion and insights that prepare you to be of practical help to others. Everything that happens to you is part of God’s work of “equipping the saints for ministry.” (Ephesians 4:12-14: “God gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints (true believers) for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature person to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by every wind of doctrine, by human trickery, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Jesus, who is the head, even Christ.” (NASB) (See text of Ephesians 4 at links below.) LOOK WITHIN You already have the spiritual resources that you need to face and deal with your “dark night of the soul.” You are created in the image of God. The Spirit of Jesus has been poured out into your heart and mind and is everywhere in every person. If you want to see God, look in a mirror. If you want to see Jesus, look at the person next to you. Remember that Jesus said, “Inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these, you have done it to me.” (Matthew 25) Rembert Truluck
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 10:21:59 +0000
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