DEAR DIKMA: I am a mom of two beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, well behaved children. My little girl is 3 and my wee man is 5. My husband works out of town 2 weeks out of 3 since Feb, and Im still adjusting. His transfer happened almost exactly on the anniversary of my wee man being diagnosed with a rare kidney disease. I have a very sick little boy sometimes. He takes boat loads of medications, some of which turn him into a tyrant. I know there are tons of single moms that seem to balance it all...I feel like Im struggling to keep my head above water. I have never had a sitter. My kids are with me 24/7 (except when hes at school) I have friends who tell me its not healthy to not have a break DONT THEY THINK I KNOW THAT??? I cry every night. I cry because Im lonely. I cry because I know when he IS home, hell want every moment with us (which isnt BAD, but it means I still dont get a break). I cry because my babys sick. I cry because no one seems to understand that he is immune compromised, and treat me like Im either antisocial or over reacting. I cry because the same people who are telling me to take a break are also the first to tell me that my kids should be involved in extracurricular activities. I cry because I dedicate my LIFE to everyone but me, just to get shit on. I cry because no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough. I cry because for all of the friends and family members who are here for me, telling me to take a break, no one ever actually helps. I cry because I feel like a horrible mom, like Im always being judged. I cry because theres nothing else I can do! If THAT werent bad enough, now my mood is starting to affect my kids, so I feel even worse!!! I feel so alone. Surrounded by people, but all alone.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 14:00:01 +0000
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