DMT I smoked dmt in the winter one night in my car while I was at work. I remember shaking as it was cold out and I was quite nervous. I was alone after all and had never taken any major psychedelics; the one being salvia divinorum which, while somewhat aesthetically intriguing, was not a particularly pleasant experience. There was a heaviness to it, as though someone had turned up the gravity. It was very uncomfortable. As for the visuals it was as if everything had become pixelated and very shiny, shimmering even. My friends faces in the room formed a two dimensional wall that curved around and seemed to meet my head just outside of my peripherals. The background and floor were black and began to dissolve in the same diamond-like pattern. Then I noticed what I can only describe as a baby black hole, its mouth hovering in front of me and funneling out the window. I played with it for a minute or so, shooting my hand into oblivion and then wrestling it back. When I came down after all of about 5 minutes I was drenched in sweat. I mean absolutely soaked. With the sweat and disorienting heaviness I would be very reluctant to smoke salvia again. With that my only reference for a hallucinogenic experience I was much more anxious than excited to be trying another. Nonetheless I proceeded. The first hit I took proved to be insufficient as it only succeeded in making me nauseas. I felt very light, like everything inside me wanted to float right out through my skin. I had read about dmt and its effects and could see how this might be construed as an out-of-body experience but this was extremely unpleasant. Here I had expected to talk to god and all I got was nausea. I honestly thought I had been duped, or that somehow, I was not able or allowed to experience or communicate with these supposed realms and beings. Perhaps some sort of anatomical deficiency or gods orders. Quite deterred at this point I picked my bowl up and hit it with a vengeance. By the time I put the pipe down and exhaled my car had transformed; still recognizable as a vehicle, yet each piece had slightly mutated. It was streamlined and shiny like a space ship. It had also doubled in size. I looked around and gawked at the strangeness of it. It was intoxicating. The ringing in my ears became stronger and as it intensified it began to crackle. The lines and edges in my car began to animate with the sound and converged towards my steering wheel. It was smiling at me. I could not help but smile back. It was as though I was the steering wheels mirror. As its smile grew so did my own until I would swear to you that the edges of my mouth were touching my ears (smiling ear to ear). I immediately thought of that scene from the grinch. I remember saying, quite giddily theres no way, this is impossible. As I did something spoke back saying something along the lines of yes, yes of course, this will always be here and you are always welcome. As if to prove it to me the dancing patterns spread to me and started filling me up with an incredibly tangible and intense sense of warmth and love and joy that I had never felt before, much less imagined could even exist. It was gods eternal flame burning inside me. I belong here, absolutely. I folded my hands and they began to merge together and beckoned me to keep looking, keep going. I curled into a ball and felt my body begin to merge into everything. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was no longer in my car. At first it seemed only a dark void but as I uncurled and looked up there was a gigantic mechanical heart about the size of a large house. This was the source of that incredible loving warmth. As I looked for a way in it became clear that it was not solid, but rather liquid, and I could walk right into it. I had barely reached my hand inside when it all began to dissolve away with something very lovingly goading me out saying its time to go. Youve got to get back where you belong. And so I was, back in my car. I had an overwhelming feeling of rebirth, like I had just discovered some divine secret. For a while everything I touched seemed to pinch between my fingers, as if everything were made of water balloons; But for the most part, as suddenly as it had began it was over. I took a few more hits off the bowl. That same nauseas feeling from before was now strangely appealing to me. It was so real, so intense and yet its memory had vanished so quickly, as if it were a dream. Had I just stared into the everloving heart of eternity and found it to be a door? Or did I merely pass out and manage to not shit myself? Ive read that at the moment of death your entire body floods itself with DMT. Perhaps that is the point, that you cant ever have absolute proof. You can be nervous, you can be scared, and you may look but never know. If you could the cities would be raining human beings.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 07:53:13 +0000
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