Dad came in with the bounty of his broccoli harvest; that would be one sprig of broccoli. He came in holding the sprig high in the air and proclaimed, “Behold! The harvest is upon us! Who wants broccoli?” He placed the pitiful piece of broccoli on a napkin. “I’m going to ask your mom if she’ll cook it up for us.” He shuffled off to his bedroom. And then I heard Mom’s giggle, then laughter, and then doubled over laughter. “One measly piece? You want me to do what? Cook it? One piece…for ALL of us?!” She then came walking in. “Where’s the piece of broccoli, Bethie?” I pointed on the table and kept working on my laptop. Mom started laughing even louder and was wiping her eyes. “He wants me to cook it and split it among us! What is the matter with him? Why does he need that adoration? One measly piece.” She hobbled into the kitchen and pulled out a pan. All the other pans toppled out. “Well, crap.” She grumbled as she cleaned it up. “All this for one little tree. The things I do for your father.” Dad came into watch. “Could you cut it into five pieces so we can all have a piece?” “You’re joking, right? There is no way it is going to cut into five pieces.” Mom waited for the little sprig to cook. “Oh, I’m not supposed to tell you but your youngest son is going to be here for your birthday.” “Why’d you tell me? I thought it was supposed to be a surprise.” “Cuz you shouldn’t be surprised at your age. You might have a heart attack.” She pulls the broccoli piece out of the pan, puts it on a big plate, and then gives it to Dad. “You want some mayonnaise with that?” “Sure! And a knife and fork too.” Mom rolls her eyes and mumbles, “A knife and fork…ridiculous.” She hands Dad the utensils. Dad tucks a napkin into the front of his shirt. He puts the knife in one hand and the fork in the other. He meticulously cuts off a teeny tiny portion of the teeny tiny piece of broccoli. “How ‘bout that mayo?” Mom brings over the jar and plops it in front of him. “I don’t know. Think that is enough? I mean, that IS a big piece of broccoli.” Dad slaps on a boatload of mayo onto the little green sprig and eats it in one big gulp. “Tasty.” “All that for one gulp? Oh for goodness sake!” Dad took the napkin out of his shirt front and dabbed each corner of his mouth. “My work is done here.” He got up, put the cat on his walker, and they wheeled away to his puzzle room. Mom shook her head, “YOUR father is about two tacos short of a combo plate, you know that?”
Posted on: Thu, 13 Jun 2013 03:03:59 +0000