Daddys weekend update: 6pm-pick up huge kid from his mothers. 6:05-inform huge kid I am confiscating his phone for a few days because of failure to comply with rules of phone usage. 6:06-6:30-endure pissed off looks, incomprehensible muttering and general frosty feeling in the air. 6:30-take moose boy to Aunt Vickis for dinner. 6:30-6:50-Baby Sasquatch eats 2 plates of my sisters cooking while occasionally throwing looks reminiscent of Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket and buddying up to his Nanny (my Mom). 6:51-Keeps throwing magnet in air until almost hits Mom once. Mom threatens me! I take magnet away from the Yeti. Silent pouty face returns and dirty looks resume. 7:00-Forgets he is mad at me and starts wrasselin with me on couch. 7:04-Remembers he is mad at me and wrasslin gets a bit more violent. 7:04.30-squeeze balls-violent tendencies abate drastically. 7:15-return home. 7:20-initiate mounting of brush hog on tractor training course for Gorilla boy(hes huge!) 7:30-Notice aforementioned Gorilla boy jumping on four wheeler and moving toward farm house at high rate of speed while yelling, Emergency Poop! 7:30-7:35-Walk to house. 7:36-Walk up to door of bathroom. 7:36.02- quickly move away from general area to avoid dry heaves. 7:45-Cordon off whole south end of house and contemplate sounding hazmat alarm to local authorities and affected neighbors. 7:50-Lurch emerges from ground zero with a smile on his face. 7:51-Daddy caves and gives him his phone back with the ultimatum that it is just for a while. 8:00-the Silverback has his face buried in his phone and is oblivious to how much his Daddy loves him. Ahhh, modern life at its best.
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 01:56:38 +0000
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