Dawns Marriage Testimony~ What I’m about to share with you is a miracle God has done in my life. Let me also say that what he has done for me he wants to do for you. “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism.(Acts.10:34) If you are thinking right now that the love you had for your mate is dead never to be rekindled again, you need to ask yourself what is love? For you to truly understand love, let the Lord minister to your heart from 1 Corinthians 13. The Lord had me at this passage for many months, and what he showed me was a love I never knew. I need to express that for God to truly answer our prayers you must be willing to be obedient to HIS word, to totally give up control of the situation and Trust HIM with everything you have. Above all, you must be in constant communion with the Lord in prayer and seeking more than ever to have nothing less that a pure heart. It was May 13, 1992, and my life had just come trembling down. My husband had come home from work and handed me a note that said he was leaving us…I was devastated! In December we had our second son, after two years of building a house we had just moved in and with a recent merge with two huge banks we both had made it with even better positions. I was thinking “How could life get any better!” Being raised in a Catholic home, I prayed a lot, went to church daily, but on that very night something happened to me that I will never forget. I went to our bedroom with much fear and trembling and cried out to the Lord as I never cried before. I said :”If there is a God He has to speak to me now!” That very moment I opened my bible and He lead me to John 3:3...I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God, unless he is born again…That night He was really trying to speak to me as I never knew. He told me that I was a sinner and I needed to be forgiven of all my sins…I needed to let go control of my life and above all I had to trust Him no matter what I was seeing…From that night on I arouse early every morning before work to seek Him. And much to my surprise the Bible spoke to me like it never spoke before. The Lord led me through many scriptures. Early on He gave me Luke 11:9, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened”…it has been a scripture that has given me much peace and joy. Only two months into our breakup I found more strength than I ever knew I had. The times were so difficult, but yet inside I felt a feeling I couldn’t understand. The Lord really started to show me who I was and what I needed to do to get right with Him. I had a problem with marijuana and it was one thing my husband hated. He asked me many times to stop, but I wanted what I wanted. To this day I will confess with the strength and love of the Lord, He delivered me from the desire of the drug. At this time of my life friends started to see me a little different. They told me I didn’t need this man who just walked out. The changes with my leisure time changed drastically. I wanted to be in the word seeking God, not out partying and trying to fulfill my hurt with another man. The Lord had spoke to me several times and informed me that my family and friends would not understand what God was telling me, but to believe in his word. It was hard. I loved my family and we were all very close. I understood their hurt for me, but they didn’t understand the love I found in a new friend named Jesus. I was still struggling big time with all of this. I hated what my husband was doing to all of us. At this time he constantly was blaming me for the separation. He didn’t see any fault with himself. I cried night and day asking the Lord for guidance. In the Lord’s timing He began to open my eyes to what my husband was doing,. My husband was involved with another woman. I remember the day the Lord showed me that. I was more hurt, and of course he denied it. I wanted so much to believe my husband, but I knew that God only gives us what we can handle. I really wanted to give up then. I felt that all hope was gone. I started to see more clearly from God that it wasn’t me that was all the problem. During this time of our life I never knew a lot about where my husband was and what he was doing, but the Lord showed me more and more all the time. He also showed me that my husband was in debt that I knew nothing about. And I was STUNNED. I wanted to run away…..I felt our relationship would never be the same. I constantly asked Jesus “How can I trust him? How can I love him again?” I wanted to get on with my life, I wanted to find someone I could trust, someone I could love again. I tried to find this in other people, but God kept whispering to me that all I needed was Him. It was September, 1992 and a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to join her at the Church of the Nazarene for a Bible study. I was an answer to my prayer. I had been looking in the area, but didn’t have any luck finding anything. So Sue and I went to the Bible Study. The first night was very hard for me and it seemed like all I could do was cry. There was a lady there who came up to talk to me and I shared with her a little of what was going on inside of me. She had invited me to a prayer group on Thursday night and after listening to me for a little while she left. That Thursday I called my neighbor and asked if she could watch the kids for about an hour so I could go up to the church for a while. She wanted to do whatever she could for me, like many others they hated to see me in such pain. That night was a good night for me. I met a few people who had problems of their own and after about an hour I knew I had to leave. As I was going out the door there was a woman who I had never met came up to me and hugged me and said hello. That was all it was that night. I went home and to my surprise that next morning early, that same woman that I met leaving called to see if we could get together that night. I was jumping inside for joy, but I wasn’t really sure why. Rod had the kids that weekend and so it was just perfect. That night after work, I went to Karen’s house. I remember that night so clearly. It will be a night that I will never forget. We sat down in her kitchen and she had her bible there and she and I began to talk. I opened up to her and told her what was happening in my life. I told her about my husband and I opened up to her about my sins that the Lord so clearly showed me. Her eyes just sparkled and I knew that there was something so different about her. Then the question came, “Do you want your marriage?” In tears and trembling, I replied, “Yes I do!!!” That was the first person that asked me such a question. Other people that I talked to wanted me to get on with my life and find someone else. It is so much easier for us to tell someone what we think they should do, until we are put in the situation. I remember all my life that I said, “If my husband goes out on me that would be the end of us!!” But now here I was facing that situation. I loved Rod, and at the same time I hated him. That night changed my life. Karen brought me to many of Gods promises about marriage, and his will for marriage. She kept telling me that it doesn’t matter what is going on we must keep our eyes on the Lord and he will change the situation. For the first time since the separation, I felt a peace I never knew. I felt HOPE. That night after a few hours of talking and sharing Gods word, I left. We became instant friends. Karen and I began to pray every chance we could. I spent most of my lunch hours on my knees with Karen just praying that God would change me and then bring our family back together. At this time our divorce had been in the process, and I continually prayed that God would change Rods heart and it would not go through. Many times it was postponed, and I felt the Lord was telling me that it would never happen. Then one afternoon in prayer Karen told me that the divorce was going to happen. I didn’t know all there was to know, and my friend surely had a love for the Lord. The Lord used her many times, and this was one of them. The Lord may at times share HIS heart with someone close to you, just to prepare you and for you to gain trust in each others faith. Well, it happened in April of 1993 the divorce papers came to my door. I had learned that God works out everything for our good, and in praise and tears I went to Karen’s house to pray for strength and understanding with the results. Once I received the papers I really became much stronger. The Lord had been strengthening me for along time, because of persecution and uncertainties of many people who came against me. I heard time after time again that it takes two people to make a marriage and I couldn’t make Rod do anything that he didn’t want to do. My family knew now that I had received the papers and told me that I was free to do as I wished. I began to see that God was changing Rod in small ways. I had told my family and his family that someday we would all be back together and both sides hated to see me hurt again. Deep inside me I had to keep the promises of god before me. I had to believe that God was who He said he was, and with much support and prayer with Karen, I continued to believe. God had brought me to a point that I knew no matter what anyone said, I believed that it was going to happen. I started to see Rod in a different light. I was finally free of the guilt that I had over my sins and the way that I treated Rod in the past. I was confessing to him about things that I knew that I had done wrong in the marriage. He just listened, without much response. He often told me that he could not come back, because he didn’t think he could ever trust me or him. There were many times the Lord had tested me in what Rod was saying. If my heart would have followed Rod, I would have stopped believing. He confessed many times that he was confused and he didn’t know what he wanted or who he wanted. My heart ached for Rod just to let Jesus touch him. I got to a point that all I really wanted was for Rod to be free of his pain and hurt. I knew that it was hard for him to be where he was. He didn’t plan on ever going out on me, but God used this situation for ME to get close to HIM. I have often thanked the Lord for doing this for both of us. Once I was strong in my belief in the marriage God started to deal with me about other issues that I had to trust HIM in. I had been working for 17 ½ years and I was doing really well with my career. I liked what I was doing and I had a feeling of security in the job, my benefits and the money that I was making for myself. Then things started to change inside of me, and I wasn’t sure what it was all about. My little Jeff was having a hard time in daycare, and cried so much when I dropped him off. I continue to search God’s heart on this and prayed over Rod that we could come up with a solution. I had spoke to Rod a few times about quitting my job and staying at home with the kids, but it was an unheard of thing. I wasn’t always sure that was the answer either, but I continued to pray about the whole situation. Then after a few months I couldn’t really take it anymore. I knew the Lord was pressing me to be home with the kids. I confronted Rod with it again, and to much surprise he suggested that I take a leave of absence for a few months and see what happens. Shortly after Rods assurance a friend of mine called me at work and told me that the Lord was pressing her to call me to say that she felt that it was time for me to be home with the kids. My mind went a hundred different directions at first!!! How was I going to pay the bills and what about my health insurance and then I heard a soft voice that said, “I will take care of all your needs Dawn, just trust me!!” I asked my boss about the possibility of taking a leave, and she said that it would be no problem. I gave them a month to replace me, and in that month Jeff was great at daycare. Satan surely wanted to inform me that I made the wrong choice and tried to get me off course. I realized at that time that once we take the step of obedience God will bless us. He had blessed me with no more tears from Jeff!!! The three months at home with the boys was great. Not only was it a healing for me and the boys, but a huge healing for Rod and I. God had used my available time to see more of his provisions and to have more time to spend with him. Josh, my 6 year old at the time, was at school and my little darling Jeff took great naps. Every change I had I was in the word, learning more and more about the Lord. Three months later, I knew that it was time for me to be home for good. Rod and I agreed that it would be a good thing, and at this time he was working and everything would be OK. The whole time that we were apart, he never stopped supporting the boys. He wanted to be the best dad he could be, even though the felt that he had failed as a husband. The day after I gave my notice that I would not be returning to work, Rod came home with a layoff notice. I felt the love of the Lord with me on that day, because I knew that if it had been reversed, I would have had a really hard time not going back to work. We both were shocked in his layoff!!! It brought me to a more dependence on the Lord and to keep my eyes on him no matter what was going to happen. Rod was out of a permanent job for almost one full year. It was a hard time for both of us, but God never stopped working in either one of us. I saw the joy of being home with the boys and being available for Rod. I found out that love and peace couldn’t replace any of the money I have depended on the Lord to meet our needs. Sometimes they were not me as I thought they should have been, but Jesus was working with me just to be content with what you have. During this time the Lord was working overtime for ME!!! I saw that Rod’s heart was getting more and more tender to the family that he left. He began to open up to me like he never did before. Here it was almost two years later and all the praying and crying I did for my family started to shine right before my eyes. Don’t ever stop believing in what God has given you. I realized that his timing is so much different from our timing, but it is always on time!! Rod confessed everything to me the Christmas of 1993. It was the beginning of a new birth for our family. He still stated that he didn’t think that he could come home, but my acceptance of his past surprised him so much. I just put him in my arms and just loved him. The timing for this was great. The Lord had prepared my heart for that day for along time. There is no greater joy than forgiveness, forgiveness that comes right from the bottom of your heart. I had forgiven Rod along time before he confessed things to me, but only through the love of the Lord. Rod really knew that I wasn’t the same person. I learned that the only way to truly love someone is to love them just where they are. Changing Rod was one thing I tried to do all our married life. I came to see that the only person who could change anybody, was the LORD!!! Having Rod out of a job, and me not working there came a time when we had to think about the house that we were in!! We were only there for about two years, and I loved the house. It was build to much our desires and having the thought of having to leave it behind was a hard thing for me. I prayed often that somehow we would be able to stay, but the Lord had different plans. We had to put the house up for sale, and with the grace of the Lord, I became much stronger through this. I have learned that the Lord never puts you through suffering for no reason. Rod became involved with our house hunting and often Rod talked about moving in with us, but nothing was written in stone. I saw how the Lord had used the whole house hunting to show Rod that he was concerned about where we lived. We only having two weeks before we had to be out of our house and we had no idea where we were going to be. Rod was starting to question whether I was listening to God or not!! But, then it happened!! God made it so real to both of us in where we were going to live, that even Rod made a note of this. I was starting to see Rod recognize that the Lord was involved in our life, an that really brought to my heart. It was June of 1994 and Rod had pretty much made a commitment to the family. He was around all the time, and the two of us talked so much about the past and what God had done for us. I was often shocked with some of his comments, because at one time he said that he could never come back to me because of Jesus!!! So I pleaded with all my heart to those of you who don’t really see any real hope, don’t give up on God!!! He is faithful to his promises. God had done so much for me and the family. He will test you to see if you will be faithful to him. But through all the hard times, the times I wanted to give up, the times I didn’t think I could go on another day, the Lord was faithful to me. Just as he was to me, he will be for you. Just before Rod had asked me to marry him, I was praying for a new trial!! I have learned that in my life trials keep me humble before the Lord and so dependent on him. It came to a surprise to me that we were going to have another baby. I couldn’t see straight for a few days. I didn’t understand why this would happen now, and then I heard that soft voice that said, “you’ve been praying for a new trial and here it is!! At this time we had no insurance and to see Rod’s whole reaction to this was a gift from heaven,. His words were that “God was going to take care of us!” I saw that my faith in the Lord had been reflected and that Rod was living more and more by faith!! Two weeks later the Lord did provide insurance and what I have learned is that we can’t ever start to look at the situation!! Our eyes must be FIXED on JESUS. He wants to do more for us that we could ever dream of. After we confirmed that I was expecting we told our families that we were going to get married, and not only that, but we were expecting a new bundle of joy. The thoughts of people didn’t bother us, because we knew what God had done for us. I can only say that Rod was there for me in a way I never dreamed of. We knew that this was a gift from God and for His purpose we were going to have a baby. The joyous day of our life was March 16, 1995. We remarried at the Church of the Nazarene in Northville, Michigan. The celebration was celebrated with our families and friends. The evening was ordained by the Lord and it was a night that neither one of us would ever forget. I just want to share with anyone from the bottom of my heart, that God is love, and he wants to show HIS love if we only give him the control of our lives. What he has done for Rod and I he wants to do for every married couple. I thank the Lord everyday for the Love that he has shown me and I pray that what the Lord did through me it would encourage others to believe. Karen~
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 20:19:45 +0000
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