Day 1 at the MADONNA REHAB CENTER is a day I thought would never get here. 3:30 this afternoon we started a new chapter in our life. Loras mom, step-dad, and I were given a tour of this state of the art facility. I have to admit, I was completely blown away! Lora wont be spending much time laying around anymore. 7 AM starts a day long evaluation of her strengths and weaknesses, both physically and mentally. I thought shed be excited about it. I was wrong. Fear of the unknown is something we all deal with to a certain extent. Aneurysm survivors have many mental challenges. Keeping a positive attitude is most important. They all suffer a tremendous hit to their self esteem. Keeping her eyes focused on the task at hand is my job. Thinking too far ahead causes a tremendous amount of self-doubt and stress. She wonders sometimes if shell ever be a nurse again and be able to join the workforce in a field she absolutely loves. This causes her to doubt if shes good enough for me. Fortunately these down-times dont last very long for her. Thats why Im so thankful Ive been able to stay by her side. Her and I have shared a special connection since day one. This traumatic time has only strengthened our bond. It was almost three weeks that I sat next to her bed and held a hand that couldnt hold mine, looked into eyes that couldnt see me, whispered in an ear that couldnt hear what I had to say, wondered IF she woke up would she even remember me, and wanted to kiss the lips that were filled with tubes that were keeping her alive. Idle time will rot the mind. I had such a tough time facing my own fears. Lifes just fair sometimes and I knew I had to be strong. The toughest time in my life is what prepared me with the tools to deal with this crisis. October 15, 2009 I was arrested for possesion of marijuana. I was quickly hauled to jail completely humiliated, and that wast the worst part. It happened at work and after bail was posted I was promptly fired from a damn good job. I had been thinking about getting my degree in journalism. I thought a magazine or some writing job would help me sell photos. I had wanted to do this for quite a while I just didnt have time. Problem solved! I now had all the time I needed. I started my schooling and couldnt believe what came next, a passion for writing. I hadnt been studying very long when I was hired by a Ft. Smith magazine to write monthly features basically about my passion for the outdoors. My editor was a very talented writer and must have had several boxes of red sharpies. My first rough drafts looked like they were used to wipe up a crime scene. Over time less blood on the paper would reflect my journalistic advancements and this passion only grew stronger. While I waited for the hands to squeeze, the toes to wiggle, the eyes to open, and the ears to hear me, once again I started to write. I had to get rid of the idle time and thats what I did. From that time on I erased ALL negative thoughts and it was easy. Love came from all over the country as I shared our struggles, as well as out triumphs. Im still blown away by the support of so many old friends and have even made some tight bonds with some I didnt know a month ago. Sharing your support for Lora is something I look very much forward to every evening. Shes a great gal and putting a smile on her face is my daily goal. Mission accomplished... So far! These are going to be the toughest days for Lora and the easiest for me. Ill have lots to write about and I know youll continue to support her. I could keep writing all night long about this beautiful girl that has changed my life, but she just woke up, she wants my undivided attention. Tomorrow brings new challenges to write about and I cant wait to share our day again. Thanks for the love and support; youve all made staying positive so easy. Id say weve all pulled together and formed quite a team. Lora and I thank you all.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 02:04:45 +0000
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